tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post6263651804378248070..comments2023-11-05T06:34:19.383-05:00Comments on Joanie's Random Ramblings: Assassin CatJoaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08943128638748507880noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-61998183105865242032009-02-09T12:18:00.000-05:002009-02-09T12:18:00.000-05:00Love this blog! Our cats (long past, sadly) were b...Love this blog! Our cats (long past, sadly) were both shelter cats. When they pissed me off I would tell them,"you now, I could still have you gassed..."jennygirltherathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11901499815238309934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-34105658423113866982009-01-31T12:16:00.000-05:002009-01-31T12:16:00.000-05:00Get him a wind up mouse to kill instead. It has wo...Get him a wind up mouse to kill instead. It has worked wonders for our big ol' tom cat.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10797131548275372465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-82861659317189526422009-01-31T11:27:00.000-05:002009-01-31T11:27:00.000-05:00The cat is trying to kill you. Diary of the dog…8:...The cat is trying to kill you. <BR/><BR/>Diary of the dog…<BR/><BR/>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!<BR/>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!<BR/>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!<BR/>10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!<BR/>12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!<BR/>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!<BR/>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!<BR/>5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!<BR/>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!<BR/>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!<BR/>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!<BR/><BR/>Diary of the cat…<BR/><BR/>Day 983 of my captivity…<BR/><BR/>My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.<BR/><BR/>The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.<BR/><BR/>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescendin g comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.<BR/><BR/>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.<BR/><BR/>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.<BR/><BR/>I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.<BR/><BR/>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…Garrethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08995228204165767887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-10122118904769776102009-01-31T10:19:00.000-05:002009-01-31T10:19:00.000-05:00My husband is allergic to cats. ALmost did not ma...My husband is allergic to cats. ALmost did not marry him because of that. I love their antics.Pseudohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10430783970802030846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-9704890434860951472009-01-31T08:28:00.000-05:002009-01-31T08:28:00.000-05:00Great post! Sounds like Java needs to be fixed. Th...Great post! Sounds like Java needs to be fixed. Though our cat is -- and declawed in the front -- and he still bites my toes when he wants something.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12547679169487196540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-2951590423997384862009-01-31T01:12:00.000-05:002009-01-31T01:12:00.000-05:00I love cats; and laughed at the jealousy at his ba...I love cats; and laughed at the jealousy at his balls line :)♥ Brajahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07693196044262677095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-2304486834285388442009-01-30T22:05:00.000-05:002009-01-30T22:05:00.000-05:00paddy boy is my demon. bobtail devil with his cot...paddy boy is my demon. bobtail devil with his cotton balls. i will win!heather kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16565607964223080506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-17284575554138921322009-01-30T20:03:00.000-05:002009-01-30T20:03:00.000-05:00Watch your back, cats are killers.Watch your back, cats are killers.Captain Dumbasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214826608461609241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-36133572717850397562009-01-30T19:55:00.000-05:002009-01-30T19:55:00.000-05:00lol...it almost always comes down to an issue of b...lol...it almost always comes down to an issue of balls :)<BR/><BR/>He is adorable, though!Templehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05014978197376226632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-44665944379522625702009-01-30T19:05:00.000-05:002009-01-30T19:05:00.000-05:00@Lisa, not for long! Java's due for a snip, snip ...@Lisa, not for long! Java's due for a snip, snip soon.<BR/><BR/>@Alix, My daughter's boyfriend named him. Said he was the color of black coffee.Joaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08943128638748507880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-33998431925270208392009-01-30T18:59:00.000-05:002009-01-30T18:59:00.000-05:00OMG! Java looks like my Sayse (Short for Salem Bin...OMG! Java looks like my Sayse (Short for Salem Binx... my didn't never could decide on a name so we called him both... then shortened it to a non-name). Java may be a naughty boy, but he's handsome AND he has a real name unlike my kitty.Boozy Toothhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765083787738573580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-603079416879886092009-01-30T18:05:00.000-05:002009-01-30T18:05:00.000-05:00The other cats are definitely jealous of what's s...The other cats are definitely jealous of what's swinging between his legs!! :))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31875004.post-26229092878802459742009-01-30T17:18:00.000-05:002009-01-30T17:18:00.000-05:00That was a fantstic post. Loved it! I hate cats so...That was a fantstic post. Loved it! I hate cats so cant tell you! Loved the bit about the post calling the kettle black, HA HA!Lillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14597193176450931002noreply@blogger.com