Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Sigh. F#$%^&*g gardens

Vacations are for rest and relaxation, right?  Sigh.  Not this one.  I'm on vacation this week.  My gardens (which I HATE, just so ya know) are atrocious, to say the least.  I've been ignoring them, hoping they will magically weed, prune, trim themselves.  Sigh.  They haven't.  So, this week, while I'm on vacation, I'm out there, weeding, pruning, trimming, all by my lonesome.  (note!  Dani is helping me... and I didn't even ask her!!)

Just so ya know, I did take before pictures of everything.  And I'll be taking after pictures and do a blog post about it next week, after I recover.

** Note:  Dani and took a little ride to Home Depot today.  We are now tearing up the walkway and replacing the walkway with new stone pavers and mulch.  I think this is a temporary fix.  What we WANT to do will cost over $500... this one will be a bit over $100.  But it's one hell of a sight better than the mess my ex did with it about 10 years ago.                          

When I was married, my ex LOVED gardens.... loved to look at them. Every year, he'd get out there, make them a little bit bigger. "Go to Home Depot", he'd say.  "Get plants, get flowers, get mulch.... lots and lots of mulch.  Oh and when you get back, plant them and cover them with mulch. I dug the gardens out bigger for you.  I'm going to go play golf now.  See ya."  @#$%^&*  (and I wonder why I was SO upset when the cheating bastard left me)  

So, now I'm stuck with all these gardens THAT I HATE.  They are terribly overgrown, full of grass where there should not be grass, azaleas and rhododendrons that have gotten way out of hand.  

Twenty years ago, we planted these nice little trees called hybrid poplars.  They were little 3 foot long twigs that were $5 each.  (note:  don't EVER buy hybrid poplars!!  no matter how cheap they are!!!) My next door neighbor talked us into buying them.  They are now monster trees.  The root system has grown above the ground.  Anywhere the lawn mower has hit them, new offshoots appear.  Today, at Home Depot, I FINALLY found a sealer for them!  So, I'll be hacking them off and spraying this sealer over them , and hopefully, they won't grow back.  The root system has also grown under my driveway and is making my driveway lumpy.  

There's no way I can pay to get rid of them, although I'd love to.  I do pray for Mother Nature to take care of it for me.  And if she does, if the one tree will fall on my house, I need a new roof.  $500 for a new roof (my deductible) is far better than the $6,000 it'll cost for a new one.

So this week, I'm pulling and hacking and chopping and digging and measuring and lifting and mulching and in my spare time, I'm cleaning and laundry and bathrooms and vacuuming, etc.  If anyone says I'm not working out, they can bite me.

OH!!!  And this is my 400th post!!!  You're allowed to have a bitch session for a 400th posts, right?  If not, bite me again!

Go see Keely at The Un Mom, read some of the randomness from other folks.  You can even give it a try yourself!  Go over, grab the button, link your random stuff to Keely's blog and you might even find some new friends!


Garret of Jim and Garret said...

Happy 400th to you! Now go get weeding.

lisleman said...

wow what big teeth you have!

Is it common that trees and some bushes mess people's plans up. It's hard to imagine how big the thing will get.

We have this pine tree that our daughter got as an earth day project. Just a little twig. Stuck it in the ground, figured it would die. Oh no, and of course after it starts growing she is excited about it. Today, it maybe taller than our house certainly the garage. But I guess it's a memory which is one of the problems with your garden - bad memories.

linlah said...

Two words - mint julep

Joanie M said...

LOL Linlah! That's twice this week you've recommended Mint Juleps! I did have a key lime martini tonight at dinner. It was OK, not great.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

400th post, woman you are allowed it ALL.

Rose said...

wow! 400 posts, cong. best wishes in the garden .

Joanna Jenkins said...

Four Hundred! Woo-hoo! That's huge Joanie.

Your vacation sounds absolutely exhausting but I bet the yard is looking great and so's the house after all that cleaning! YOu go girl-- And when you're done you're welcome to come to my house ;-)


Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Wow! FOUR HUNDRED!! That's fantastic, congrats! And I feel your pain with the gardening! Especially when it's been so dry here in PA lately. I've been out with that stupid hose watering my plants in the morning AND evening!! Sigh!

Hope you're able to take a break to celebrate 400!

slommler said...

Congrats on your 400th post! That is awesome!!
And your vacation sounds totally sucky!!! Where is the Margaritas and the music and the beach?? And let us not forget the cabana boy???
Drink up girl and get to a beach somewhere.

Ina in Alaska said...

Hey Joanie hello from Anchorage Alaska! Thanks for popping by my blog, I saw your comment on my post about visiting my friend Elizabeth. Alaska is a beautiful state and if you ever get here, you and I will certainly get together, although not near any bears!

About your post, I say sell the damn house and move! Or just get rid of the gardens altogether and do grass. Much easier. You must have been married to a hybrid of my husband, Ron! He has a raised bed behind our house which he lovingly prepared so "he" could get some strawberry starts and some veggies. He spent at least a week clearing out the bed, adding soil and prepping. Then he loaded up his clubs in his car and told me to get starts at the farmer's market. Which I did not do. It is almost the end of July and he has quit asking me about getting starts. It has been so wet and rainy here anyway and the bed awaits....snow..... Thanks for your visit, your blog post was very funny and truthful too. xoxo

RecoveringActor said...

The problem was all the VANILLA. Who puts vanilla in a key lime martini?? YUCK.

Brian Miller said...

congrats on 400! sorry vacation is a beast...but do have fun gardening...i like geting my hands dirty...

Joanie M said...

Day 2 of staycation: weeded almost all the way around the back deck until the rain started. Went inside and finished the kitchen (except for the floor) and cleaned the downstairs bathroom. Then I went food shopping. Oh! And I paid bills this morning! Nothing will get shut off this month! :)

Dani had work this morning, then an ortho appt. By the time she got home it was pouring. We are roping Tim into helping take the walkway apart tomorrow!

otin said...

You should just bring in a bulldozer and level it all and then sod it! haha

congrats on number 400!!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I'm much better at watching the efforts of other peoples' gardening skills. My black thumb is legendary. :-)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Joanie, gardening is a four letter word.

Really, it's just a competition for the neighborhood.

"Did you see Joanie's peonies?? That woman is amazing."

Instant street cred.