Dear So and So

Ah, it's Friday again (I'm writing this on Thursday evening, but all day long I thought it was Friday) and Friday means Dear So and So!  Go visit Kat at 3 Bedroom Bungalow To Let In Crazytown.  She's the genius who dreamed up Dear So and So.  It's a great way to get shit off your chest say stuff you want to say to people but are too polite to do so.   So here's mine.

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Dear House guest,
You know I love you, but it's really time for you to get the fuck out of my house go back to Oregon.  I'm sure your mother misses you and that bi-polar brat of yours your darling 2 year old daughter.  It was (ahem) wonderful to see you and I'm sure I'll miss you when you're gone  (OK, even I'm not buying that)  (SATURDAY!!!  doing cartwheels)


Happy to be getting her peace and quiet again,
"Mimi"


ps.  and thank you for this GD cold that I can't seem to shake.  I'll be sending you a bill for my cold medicine you helped yourself to and all the missing tips I lost this week .  and all the yogurt your brat ate that was supposed to be my breakfast.

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Dear John,
I really do miss you since I haven't seen you since last Tuesday.  I know I've been too sick to make the drive to your house, since you're too stubborn to come here when my youngest in residence.  But that's your problem.  You say you are coming here "to take care of me".  We shall see, since you can't cook to save your life.  I see a lot of take out and food delivery in our very near future.


Love you lots!
Joanie

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Dear Bosses at my job,
Thank you for being understanding when I leave early every day because I really still feel like crap.  And thank you for not forcing me to go to the doctor since I don't have insurance right now, and I really don't want to pay $200 for my doc to tell me I have a cold. (duh!)


Swearing she'll be better soon,
Joanie

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Dear Gina and Gene (aka Eugina),
EIGHT MORE DAYS!!!!!!!  The wedding is in eight more days!!!!  I can't wait to party and have a great time on Daddy Dearest's dime (or $15,000)!!  I'm so happy for the two of you I could just burst!!!


Hoping she's the best mother-in-law ever,
Mom

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Dear Kimmy at work,
I'm so sorry, dear, but you really are too stupid to be a shift leader.  The fact that you were able to take over my station today at work so I could go home because Jess was selfish and took away your good station for herself before I got to work, was just me being nice.  My fault.  I'm sorry I even told you to finish up the shift at my station.  Trust me.  I won't be doing that again.  Besides, anyone who has 2 children and still insists on being called Kimmy (by people other than your parents and siblings) should not in charge of anything.


Still in charge,
Joan

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Dear Dani,
OH.  MY.  GOD.  'Smores turnovers are to die for!!!  I'm so glad I only had one though.  Any more would send my glucose levels through the roof!!!!  And dinner was really good tonight.  Thanks for making it so I could hide in my room for a while.


Love,
Mutti

Dear So and So

Dear Dear So and So,


I'm back!  Did you miss me?  


Trying to get back on the Bloggy Wagon,
Joanie

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Dear Dani,

Congratulations on finishing hairdressing school, and in record time!  I hope you do well on your exam, get your license and find a job quickly!

Love you!

Proud Mama (and former hairstylist herself!)

Joanie

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Dear Former Co-workers,

I'm VERY happy that some of you no longer work with me.  For the most part, you were lazy, inconsiderate and did little more than complain that you were too busy or not busy enough.  Those other restaurants can have you.  And because you work at those other places, I will no longer frequent those establishments.  I had enough of you when you worked here.

Good riddance,

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So: Royally duped!

Dear Whoever Posted the comparison photos of Prince William and his lovely bride,


OK, you got me and a lot of other folks across America.


You see, yesterday, someone posted these photos of Prince William and Kate Middleton and compared them to the Disney pictures of Cinderella and Prince Charming at their wedding.  Also in the picture are comparison photos of the Ugly Stepsisters and The Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.  The similarities was astounding!  Look for yourself! (sorry the photo isn't real clear.  It's the best I could do)

We all laughed at the similarities.  C'mon, you know you did!  You might even have put them on your own Facebook page and shared them with your friends.  I know I did!  

Then this evening, I read an article online about how someone photo-shopped the Disney pictures to match the ones taken at the Royal Wedding.  Surely they were kidding!!!  So I googled Disney Cinderella wedding images and this is what I found.

They aren't even close!  We were duped!!!  Someone just pointed another flaw out to me.  In the fake photo, Cinderella is a brunette.  In the real photo, she's a blonde!  I didn't even notice that!


I feel cheated, especially with the Ugly Stepsister/ Real Princesses photos!  I thought that was brilliant!

Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So

Dear Mother Nature,
If you really wanted to play an April Fool's Day joke on Al Gore, why not just make it snow over his town and leave the rest of us alone?  I actually LIKE the fact that it's Spring!


Not amused by any means,
Joanie

Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So

Dear Kat,
Happy 30th Birthday, my friend!  I hope it was wonderful!


Joanie

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Dear Chachi (my car),

I'm sorry I haven't taken really good care of you this year.  I promise to do better, especially since the 2 new tires, replacing the bent wheel (damned potholes) and the long overdue oil change cost me $375 the other day.  Getting the other bent wheel replaced and the rear brakes today (ka-ching! another $260) should make you happier, even though my wallet is crying.  Can you please be kind in July when I need to get you  inspected and pass the emissions and inspection tests??  I know you're not as young as you used to be (Chachi was 8 on New Year's Eve) and you have 131,000+ miles on you, but I know we can have many more happy years together.  I really do love you a lot, even though I don't always show it.

Promising to show you more love in the future,

Joanie

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Dear Mother Nature,

Flood warnings and high wind alerts for this weekend?  Really?   Haven't you punished us enough this year?

I just have one small request.  If you must knock down one of my trees, can you make sure that it hits the roof?  I need a new one and the insurance will cover it if you do this.  A $500 roof  I can afford... a $6,000 one?  Not so much.

Tired of all this "weather",

Joanie

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Dear Greg from work,

Thank you SO MUCH for giving me your "old" Droid!  I really do love it!  I still can't believe you just gave it to me!  I know you love your newer Droid X.  It is so much faster than the Blackberry!  

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So: I hab a code

Dear Cold,
I don't know where you came from, but I want you to leave right now.   I didn't invite you here and I resent your presence.  Even with taking Zicam for several days, you still showed your ugly face here.  GET OUT NOW!!


Achoo!
Joanie

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Dear Zicam, Dayquil, Nyquil and Robitussin,
Please work, and soon.  I don't want this to turn into bronchitis.  On the other hand, I have an unexpected couple of days off from work.  Not sure if this price is worth it.


Sniffle,
Joanie

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Dear Snow, 
Come on down!  I'm at home, sick, and won't be going to work tomorrow (this is being written on Thursday evening) and have no plans to go anywhere until at least Saturday.  Leave as much of the white stuff that you want.  The boys across the street are happy to make money, shoveling my driveway.


Honk,
Joanie

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Dear Appetite,

Why is it, no matter how sick I get, you're always there.  I don't get it.  You'd think you'd want to stay far away from me when I'm sick.  

Cough, cough,

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So: Going Postal... and other fun stuff

Yay!!  It's Friday!  Time to get some stuff off my chest!!  It's also Follow Friday, 40 and over!


Dear Ex-husband,
While it was very nice of you to be concerned that I might be having a heart attack when my phone accidentally pocket-dialed your phone and you heard background noises but no talking from me, you really must know that you are probably the LAST person I'd call in a medical emergency.  Frankly, I'd leave that up to my kids to inform you, if they chose to do so.


Get over yourself,
The one you let get away

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Dear Asswipe who works at the Post Office,

Was it really necessary to get all dramatic in front of other customers when I had to go back to your Post Office because my daughter gave me the wrong address to send her package?  I was gone for 15 minutes, for Pete's sake! AND I apologized!    And "all the paperwork" that was required to be filled out was done by ME, not YOU, asswipe!  I even stepped aside to let others go in front of me, so I wasn't holding them up.  You really didn't need to mutter that the changes had to be done anyway!  You wouldn't know courtesy if it bit you in the ass!

Lucky I didn't "go postal" on you,

your favorite customer on Tuesday

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Dear Walmart,

Thanks for the new glasses!  I love them!  You were far more reasonable, financially, than my other eye doctor!  And thanks for suggesting I use my AARP membership!  That knocked $132 off the cost of the glasses!!  And Leo was awesome at helping me choose the right frames!   I'll definitely be a returning customer and will recommend you to everyone!

Happy happy happy,

A very satisfied customer

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Dear Trey,

OK, 2 weeks ago, you were my hero.  Now when the hell are you coming back to fix the leaky water heater and to make sure my water stays hot?  Hmmmm???  I have to hit the reset button whenever I need hot water.  I sure hope this isn't one of those "you get what you pay for" times.  And if you need to buy a part because you did something to make it not work, YOU are paying for it, not me.

Thinking of divorce,

"Aunt" Joanie

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Dear Snow,

Thanks for stopping after only a few hours.  Now John can still come to my house tonight, as planned!  It looks so pretty when I look out my window, especially since I know I don't have to drive in you!  Oh!  And it really isn't necessary for you to make another appearance early on Tuesday, my first day back to work.  Feel free to arrive anytime after 4 pm ET.  I'll be home by then.

Love you when I'm safely at home,

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So

Dear Me,
You posted something on your blog every blessed day in November and every blessed day in December until this past Wednesday!  What happened?  I wonder ... if I do 3 blog posts today, will it still count for Nablopomo?


Can't believe I blew it at the end of the month,
Me

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Dear Daughter,

I love you.  I will miss you when you go back to Pittsburgh today.  I will NOT miss the trail of destruction that occurs every time you come home.  I'm glad I don't use my living room very often, since it has become your dressing room and storage facility this week.

Happy to be getting her house back,

Mutti

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Dear New Owners At My Job,

I look forward to meeting you in a few weeks when you take over our restaurant.  I do hope a few thing happen (or not happen as the case may be).  I do hope I still have my 8 years of seniority.  I do hope I still have my 3 weeks of paid vacation.  I do hope your arrival makes some employees look for other work.  I do hope you hire our present District Manager to oversee the Pennsylvania stores you are buying.  He's a good guy.  You should keep him.

Faithful employee,

Joanie

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Dear Trey,

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you for installing my hot water heater this week!!  You are truly my hero!  I didn't realize how inconvenient it is to not have hot water for a week!  You saved me a ton of money this week and made some bucks, too, by helping me out.  I can run the dishwasher now and do all the other dishes that were piling up too!  Ah!  And to be able to shower whenever I want and for as long as I want is truly a wonderful thing!

So glad you married my niece,

"Aunt" Joanie

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Dear Readers,

Happy New Year!  Thank you so much for reading my blog and following me!I really do enjoy writing.  I know I"ll never do it professionally (and have no desire to do so), but it's fun to get my thoughts out.  

Your friend,

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place on the other side of the pond, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

Dear So and So

Dear Hot Water Heater,
Did you HAVE to break down 2 days before Christmas?  Seriously?  You couldn't wait to more lousy weeks, so I could get my car insurance paid first?   You really suck.


Driving very carefully for the next couple of weeks,
Joanie

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Dear Trey,

You are the best!!!  It's so nice of you to install the hot water heater  (soon please!) when we get it.  I'm really glad my niece married you!! 

Loves giving business to family,

Aunt Joanie

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Dear Scott,

I can't believe you made the cruel remark to me at work yesterday.  You insinuated I was fat. (let me tell you something, asshole.  Fat people KNOW they're fat.  They don't need pricks like you to remind them).  Do I ask you in front of everyone we work with if your dick is still broken?  Why don't you hold your breath while you wait for me to run your food for you.

Hoping your dick never works properly again,

Joan

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Dear Dani,

Thanks so much for the facial when you got home from school this evening!  It was awesome!!!!

Love you lots!

Mom

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Dear Christmas,

I'm ready for you!!!  Bring it on!

Fa-la-la-la-la,

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place on the other side of the pond, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

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Dear So and So: Hello? Are you there?

Dear Christmas,

HA!!  You thought you'd get the better of me this year and sneak up when I wasn't ready!  There are still 9 days to go and I have only a couple of things to do.  Of course, I'm not counting getting the tree out, decorating it, wrapping the gifts I've purchased.  BUT, I do have just about everything bought!  That has to count for something, right?  Right?  Hello?  Are you there?  Stop snickering!

deluding herself,

Joanie

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Dear Bills (aka electric, cable, car insurance, cell phone,oil, credit card, grocery)

You don't really care that I've used my support check to buy Christmas gifts for my family instead of giving it all to you,do you?  Hello???????

thinks shes screwed, but her kids will be happy,

Joanie

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Dear Fridays Guests,

I'm so glad most of you read my note last week on Dear So and So!  Most of you have been most generous!  So much so, that I might even be able to pay those bills I've just mentioned!

Thankful

Your server, Joanie

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Dear Table 71 on Tuesday,

You!  Yeah you!!  I saw that $5 bill on the table when I went to get your change.  I want to know why you gave me $53 for a $37 check.  When I came back with your $16 change, I thought you'd leave my tip in the book, but NO!!  You took it with you... all of it!!  You cheap bastard!  I hope your wallet gets stolen.

Still pissed,

Joanie

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Dear John,

I know you meant well when you let me sleep for 2 hours on Wednesday afternoon.  Yes I was tired when I arrived at your place.  The bed looked so comfy when I was sitting there, bored out of my skull watching you play Mah Jongg.  I just wanted to close my eyes for a second.  Then I was awake until 3:30 am.  Gee, too bad my hurling myself around the bed toss and turning, trying to go to sleep kept you awake.

Love you lots! (yawn!!)

Joanie

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Dear Friends,
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place on the other side of the pond, hook up with her Linky and add your own!  It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!

Love,

Joanie

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