I'm Brilliant! Bloody Brilliant, in fact!

 

I think having an award bestowed on you, here in Blogiland, is something simply terrific!  It shows me, at least, that there are people here who like what I write and, in acknowledging this, let's others know about my blog and maybe more folks will read it.  So I was very  surprised and pleased when I got a comment from Jane at Gaston Studios, telling me she had something on her blog for me.  I enjoy reading her blog.  Jane has wonderful stories of her travels!!  If you haven't read any of her stuff, you really should check her out!  She is brilliant and she has the award to prove it!

I'd really like to pass this wonderful award on to my very good friend, Alix at Casa Hice!  Her blog is taking off like wildfire!  I sure wish I knew her secret!  Alix has such a way with words.  She's funny and straight-forward.  And she tells the best stories!  And the way she spars with Garret at RV'ing!  Living with Jim and Garret!  It's all I can do not to spit my morning coffee all over my monitor! (you need to check Jim and Garret out also!)

So, thank you, Jane for this wonderful award!  I'm thrilled to accept it!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Six Word Saturday

 

Certain people need to lighten up!

(I'm talking about certain co-workers here)

 

Want to try your own Six Word Saturday? Go see Cate at Show My Face and link up!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Dear So and So: @#$%^&* Snow Edition

 

Dear Mother Nature,

Thanks for screwing up my plans to get snowed in with John for a few days.  You SAID we were going to get a foot or more of snow, beginning Wednesday night until sometime Friday morning..  I packed my bag, I brought breakfast foods, I high-tailed my arse over to John's (even made sure the cats had food, water, clean litterbox), only to wake up Thursday morning to big wet snowflakes that weren't accumulating anywhere!  I had to get dressed and friggin' go to work!  And I had to drive an hour to get there!!!  

 Pissed,

Joanie

Dear Stupid Assed Mother Nature,

You fickle mean bitch!  NOW you lay all the snow, now that I'm home in my house and John is home at his house??  I'll probably be home all day tomorrow by myself.  I'm not sure if John will attempt to make the trip here to my house after work tomorrow.  You are so ruining my love life!  Knock it the F**k off!

 GRRRR,

Joanie

Dear Mother Nature,

If you bring that rumored snowstorm here on March 7 like people are talking about and prevent my kid from making her flight to Oregon to visit her friend for spring break and she's stuck here all pissed and bitching at me, I'm gonna hurt someone.  You're messing with my blood pressure now.

Dear Powerball Lottery,

Please please please let me win one of these days very soon so I can get the F out of Pennsylvania and go someplace warm and tropical before I kill someone.  To be able to get a new roof and carpeting and other fun stuff would be cool too.  If you do this for me, I'll share, I promise!!!

 Pleadingly,

Joanie

Dear Ex-husband (what's  a Dear So and So if you can't bitch to your ex once in a while), 

I just love when I mentioned that one of the alternatives was for Dani to live with you while she goes to Cosmetology School, you said that would never work.  No shit, Sherlock!  We can't have your own CHILD interfering with your nice little life and nice little house!  I was told it was YOUR idea in the first place, but I think you lied to me (what a surprise... you lying)  What I think REALLY happened was you suggested it to Dani and then, when you mentioned it to Maleficent, she probably said no way in hell!  Guess you haven't grown that set of balls yet.  Another big surprise.  (oh that felt good!)

Not sharing her lottery winnings with you and will still take that alimony, thank you very much,

You first ex-wife

Dear Gina,

I hope you have a really good time in Ireland in May, even if you don't take me with you.  Give Colleen a big hug for me and kiss the Blarney Stone for me.

Love,

Mom

Dear Max,

I sure hope you come over and shovel this snow for me like you did last week!  I have dollars!!!!

Your neighbor,

Mrs. Poletti

Dear Vancouver,

Thanks for throwing such a great party these past couple of weeks!  I've really enjoyed watching the games each evening!  

Loving the Olympics,

Joanie

Dear American Athletes,

Congratulations on winning all those medals!!!  It's been a pleasure watching you all perform these past few weeks!!!  Your prowess on the ice and snow is impressive!

A red, white and blue fan,

Joanie

Dear Readers,

Why not pop over the pond to Kat's Place in the UK, grab the button and get some stuff off your chest?  Trust me, it feels good to release it all!  Don't forget to Link your Dear So and So and lots of others will be able to read them too!  Go on!  You know you want to!

Love,

Joanie

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

RTT: Oh, this and that

 

I love being random!  Do you want to be random?  Just pop on over to Keely's blog The Un-Mom, grab the button, and do some randomness of your own!  Just make sure you linkup to her blog so we can read how random you truly are!

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in a week.  That is so not like me.  

I love coffee in the morning.  What I don't like is it raises my glucose levels.  So not fair.  I drink it black, no sugar.

I'm wondering is Captain Dumbass has had a chance to see any speed skating this past week.  I mean live, in the stands, not on TV.  So cool that the Olympics are being shown in his hometown!  By the way, the Cap'n has a great blog, Us And Them, and his kids are adorable and hysterical!  You should check him out if you don't already.

By the way, Captain, that's a lotta testosterone in your house, but I KNOW Supreme Leader can handle it.

I am sooooo jealous of my oldest child!  She's going to Ireland to visit her very good friend, Colleen, who is going to grad school there.  I told Gina I have a passport, and I'd be more than happy to keep her company on the trip, but she sort of ignored that.  Oh well.... when I win the Powerball lottery, I'm going to all the places I wish I could visit (Ireland, Alaska, Canada, Greece, a lot of other  places in the good ol' US of A)

So my youngest offspring has decided that college might not be for her.  She wants to go to hairdressing school in Philly and venture out on her own.  I wish she'd stay in college and get her degree, but who am I to tell her not to become a hairdresser if that's what she really wants to do!  I was a hairdresser, once upon a time and I made a decent living at it.  She has the talent for it and she could always go back to college and work as a stylist in the future.  I just want her, and my other kids to be happy in what they are doing.  That's most important!

To round out news of my offspring, my son is graduating from college in a  few short months and is in the process of sending out resumes.  I was talking to his dad last night (sometimes, ya just gotta whether you want to or not) and he told me that the jobs my son is looking at are all in New York.  I hope he finds something soon (and I hope they want to pay for him to go to grad school so he doesn't have to pay for it himself!)

OK, time to get this butt to work.  Thanks for stopping by!

Peace out!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Then and Now

I really hate trying to take a decent picture of myself.  I made a decision today, to color my hair again.  I got tired of looking at that old lady in the mirror.  It's cool to get Senior Discount tickets at the Regal theater, but I missed looking late 40s instead of 60s.  So I called my favorite hairdresser and she squeezed me in this evening. (don't worry... I'm the best tipper she knows!)   

I found a picture of myself taken a few weeks ago at the mini class reunion and I cropped a picture of myself from it.  Then I proceeded to take a picture (ok, i tried like 20... they all sucked) with my new do.  I also snuck in a better photo but it's 2 years old.

Now, be honest.  Did I take 10 years or so off my age with a little Redken magic??

 

this is from 3 weeks ago

   

this one is from 2 years ago

 

this awful awful one is from this evening.  a self-portrait if you will. 



OK, where in the HELL did those jowls come from??

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

RTT: Lent, Olympics, Snow, and the Geico gecko

 

This is me, being random.  If you want to be random and it's Tuesday, why not pop on over to Keely's, grab the button and do some randomness of your own!   Be sure to leave your link there, so others can see how random you truly can be!

So today is Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday, the day Catholics all over the world give up something they love for 40 days in penance.  I remember my mother giving up chocolate for Lent (she said Sundays didn't count and she'd indulged every Sunday).  I gave up sex for Lent for a couple of years... oh wait.... I had no choice then... I was getting divorced and alone.  

I'm really enjoying the Olympics, especially the skiing and snowboarding and speed skating.  The figure skating?  Meh.... they're ok.  I'm still trying to figure out how some couples score higher, even when they FALL, than couples who appeared to have skated flawlessly.  The scoring still favors the Eastern European countries. 

Speaking of Olympics ... I cried like a baby when Alexandre Bilodeau won the first Gold for Canada.  What a wonderful background story, with his brother as his biggest fan!  It warmed my heart to see that bio!

So we've been getting quite a bit of snow here in Pennsylvania.  Sixteen inches on Feb 5 and 6 , then another 20 inches on Feb 9 and 10.  Last night, we were supposed to get more snow... I heard 2 to 4 inches, 3 to 6 inches, 4 to 8 inches.  We got a coating.  Some schools closed in anticipation.  What dummies!  Right now we're getting flurries.  Maybe I should get to the store for supplies while I still can.  I'm running out of Diet Coke with Lime to go with my Captain Morgan.

We're (that means the ex) looking into getting my son his own car insurance for the car his Dad is giving him for graduation.  Progressive gave him a quote that is HALF what State Farm told him, for the same coverage!  We've had State Farm for nearly 30 years.  I think it's time I looked into switching insurance companies.

Speaking of insurance companies.... years ago, when we had a restaurant, we were looking into getting car insurance for the car that was leased in the restaurant name.  The Ex called Geico for a quote.  They asked if we had a deep fat fryer in the restaurant.  He said yes and Geico refused to give us car insurance!  We weren't parking the car inside the restaurant!  The agent actually hung up on him!  Geico also does a credit check too and if you don't measure up, they won't insure you. 

OK, that's it for now!  I might add on more stuff tonight, but for now, I gotta get this butt into work!  

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Darwin Awards

Yes, folks!  it's that time of year again... time for the Darwin Awards! 

In honor of Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool... by accidentally removing themselves from it. This award is generally bestowed posthumously. 

 Here is the glorious winner:

 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in  Provo, Utah  would-be robber Jason Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 5.. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

 9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Ah, the good old days

Why Our Great-Grandparents were Happy folks...

Bayers Heroin

 

A bottle of Bayer's heroin. Between 1890 and 1910 heroin was sold as a non-addictive substitute for morphine. It was also used to treat children with strong coughs.

Coca Wine, anyone? 

 

 Metcalf Coca Wine was one of a huge variety of wines with cocaine on the market. Everybody used to say that it would make you happy and it would also work as a medicinal treatment.

Mariani wine

 

 Mariani wine (1875) was the most famous Coca wine of it's time. Pope Leo XIII  used to carry one bottle with him all the time. He awarded Angelo Mariani (the producer) with a Vatican gold medal.

Opium for Asthma

 

 No comments.

Cocaine tablets (1900)

 

 All stage actors, singers teachers and preachers had to have them for a  maximum performance. Great to "smooth" the voice.

Cocaine drops for toothache

 

 Very popular for children in 1885. Not only did they relieve the pain, they made the children happy!

 Opium for new-borns

 

 I'm sure this would make them sleep well (not only the Opium, but 46%  alcohol!)

* I think I remember this stuff from when I was a kid!  I'm sure my mother had some in the medicine cabinet

No wonder they were called The Good Old Days!!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

 

 

What It Means To Be Irish

Ok, this is a rerun, but my brother just sent it to me and I really liked it, so here it is again!

1) You will never play professional basketball. (at 5' maybe, i don't think so!)

2) You swear very well. (WTF?)

3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun or uncle who's a priest. (I used to own a restaurant/bar, one of my brothers was a fireman and my oldest sister is a nun lol)

4) You think you sing very well. (not since Sr. Mary Leo told the class I sing like a frog!... mean old bitch)

5) You have no idea how to make a long story short! (hey! I resemble that remark!)

6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone... (my ex should thank the gods there's no gun in my house)

7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin. (Instant??  NEVER!!)

8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.

9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer (Catholic guilt forever!). (Now I know why I have bad knees!)

10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers. (and painfully honest)

11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot. (I'll tell you stuff I'd never tell sober)

12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.

13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations. (hahaha!!!)

14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen ... and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen . (cousin Eileen (and one of my brothers was going to be Eileen), niece Katherine, sister Anne Marie Catherine ..close enough)

15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.

16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking. (so true)

18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are ... but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.

19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.

21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully . Then you probably know McMurphy. (my last name is Mack! Really!)

22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... you forget every thing but the grudges!

24) 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'

25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of driver's license,loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from a punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.

26) Your skin's ability to tan.... not so much. (nah, I'm black Irish... I tan)

27) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. in a bar/pub. (met my ex-husband in a bar)

28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey.

29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.

(I have 4 brothers, 3 sisters, 4 spouses of siblings, 3 kids, 6 nephews, 5 nieces, 5 spouses of those kids, 6 great nephews and 4 great nieces. 45 minutes is a conservative figure!)

30) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other. (probably at some point)

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

It happened in Pennsylvania

People in Schuylkill County have a warped sense of humor.

It must be something in the coal-infused water.  This is the pull off at SR 61 and Adamsdale Rd.  A deer was hit there.

The couch was dumped there previously.  Day two: the deer was on the couch.  Day three: the end table and lamp showed up.  Day four: the TV and TV stand showed up.

The Trooper had to call PENN DOT because of all the people stopping to take pictures.

PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE SIGN.

The cardboard caption in front of the deer on the couch reads,

"Sorry Hunters.  Obama ruined healthcare.  We can't afford to have injured hunters on our conscience, so I'm staying home!"

Sorry,

The Deer.

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Riddle Me This!

 

I'M IMPRISONED

I'm imprisoned in myself,

Put away with no mistake.

I can free the prisoner

If he just takes the cake. 

*as always, credit goes to Tower of the Riddle Master

 

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

AW!! Doesn't he look cute!!!

So here I sit, nice and cozy in my house, with 16+ inches of snow that has fallen in my neck of the woods.  I was lucky enough to get 2 friends of Dani's to come down and shovel my driveway and walkway and steps (for a fee, of course!).

I had to do my taxes today because my ex did my son's.  I get to claim him for one last year, since he's a senior in college.  If I claim Tim, he owes $29 in taxes (he's a server).  If I don't claim him, he'll get back $485.  So I told my ex I didn't want to deprive Tim of a decent refund.  The ex suggested I do my taxes both ways, claiming Tim and not claiming Tim.  If I claim Tim, I'll get $800+ back.  If I don't, I owe $1155.  Uh.... sorry Tim.  You're on your own.  The ex is sending me Tim's W-2 form to see if I can do any better.  We'll see!

So while I was doing my taxes, John was in the family room, reading.  I went into the room to get something and found him just like this.... 

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Dear So and So... Let It Snow Edition

 

Dear Jack Frost,

I understand you're about to pay us another visit tonight.  I DO like that you seem to have flip flopped on how you arrive from years past.  This year you seem to be slamming the coastal areas, and giving those of us north and west of the city (Philadelphia) a bit of a break by giving us less snow.  Thanks for that!  Can you please delay your arrival until I can get home from work and John can get here? 

Warmly ('cause I have a full tank of oil),

Joanie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Me,

It was so fortunate that I decided to give up my Saturday shift, since I was working so many nights (and my day off on Wednesday) doing server validations.  Now I'm off and I don't have to try to get into work  in the middle of a snowstorm that plans to dump a foot in  my area!  Go me!!  AND I made sure my boss OK'ed it in case D decides not to show up!  It's on him and not me!

Gloatingly,

Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Grocery Store,

Please have some groceries left on the shelf.  Now that I'll be home this weekend and most likely stuck inside with John (gee!  what a hardship!), I need to be able to prepare meals.  Never mind about bread, milk and eggs... I have those.  I need meat, sandwich fixins and snacks.

With cupboards bare,

Mother Hubbard

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ex-husband,

Thanks SO MUCH for NOT buying me that snow blower I wanted for my birthday 10 years ago!  Now the kids are away at school, you aren't here (not that you ever helped with the shoveling anyway, you jerk), I have to get rid of a foot of snow on a long driveway.  If you had gotten the snow blower like I wanted (you cheap bastard), this note would sound much different!  Bitter?  You bet!

Your Ex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Daughter,

I'm really sorry you aren't coming home this weekend.  I thought it would be important to let you know how much snow we were supposed to get.  You basically would have been stuck at home all weekend and not been able to drive to Philly like you planned.  Weather permitting, you can come home next weekend instead and you can have the car all weekend.  Sorry about that!  Too bad too, because it would have been nice to only have to drive to Reading (40 minutes) to get you instead of Harrisburg (2 hours).  Still better than the drive to Indiana, PA (4.5 hours)!

Love,

Mom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Kids In The Neighborhood,

Who wants to make $20 shoveling my driveway and walkway?

Mrs. P

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 Dear Readers,

Want to get stuff off your chest?  Dear So and So is a great way to do it!  Pop on over the pond to Kat's place, grab the button, write your own Dear So and So and link up to her blog!  There are a bunch more to read over there!  Go ahead!  You'll feel better for it!

Joanie

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  Check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Random Tuesday Thoughts, Winter Edition

It's Tuesday, and you know what that means, boys and girls!  It's time for Random Tuesday Thoughts!  Today we get to talk about all the crazy stuff that is knocking around in our brains, but not one thought is enough to make a blog post, so we get to put them all together!  Now doesn't that sound like fun?  You should try it!  Go on over to Neely's blog, grab the cute button, link up to her site and get random!!  Go on, we'll wait.

Happy Groundhog's Day everyone!  Surprise, surprise!  Six more weeks of winter!  I knew that.  All I had to do was look out my window and see the gray icky clouds that seems to be holding snow to know winter was still upon us.

And speaking of Groundhog Day, those idiots at PETA want to replace our beloved Punxatawny Phil with a robotic groundhog.  Makes me want to throw cow blood all over them.

Do PETA people wear leather belts, leather (or suede) shoes, carry leather handbags?  I bet they do, bunch of hypocrits.

PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals

Yesterday I got a flat tire.  Balls!  Got it changed with the little donut tire I have for a spare. (I love AAA)   Dropped the car off at Sears (it's in the same mall where i work... convenient!).  Little while later I sneak over to see how much they are going to soak me and to see if they'll pro-rate the new tire because the old tire wasn't that old and I discover that they REPAIRED the tire.... and it was FREE!!!!  YAHOO!!!!  Frankly, I didn't think Sears Tire Salesmen were allowed to repair tires... I thought their job was to sell sell sell!  He did, of course, try to sell me a set of 4 brand new tires.  Uh.... no.  Thanks for the freebie!  Cya!

I am so far behind on my blog reading.  I feel like I might never catch up.  When John is here, I can't spend hours here like I can when I'm home alone.  I suppose I could, but that would be rude.  Now I'm working 2 doubles this week and I'm working on my day off.  I'm not ignoring y'all, I promise!

My kid is coming home next weekend for the weekend.  She's has a ride as far as Harrisburg, which is 90 minutes to 2 hours away (depending on traffic).  I have to pick her up Friday night and bring her back to Harrisburg on Sunday.  At least I don't have the 4.5 hour drive each way!  Her Dad is supposed to get her yet another car soon. 

I realized I've made the trip to her college 5 times since December 2008.  Her Dad?  Once.... twice if you count the summer of 2008 when he took her there to check it out.

I loves my new DVR!!  It's all ready to record LOST and Biggest Loser, since I have to work a double today and will miss both shows.     AND my OnDemand works for the first time since last summer AND I got HBO, Showtime and Starz again!  At least for the next 6 months until this promotion runs out.

Am I the only one who has to keep going back to edit a post that has already been posted because I keep finding typos and stuff?

I think I'm running out of randomness.  Until next time, folkses!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!