Sunday, October 18, 2009

I'm cranky

Today I'm cranky. I didn't wake up cranky, but by the time breakfast was ready (OK, so it was 1 pm) I was on my way to a major hissy fit!

It all started when I came downstairs and started breakfast. Now you have to remember that John can't cook his way out of anything, so he has absolutely no room to open his mouth about anything I'm doing in the kitchen. Even my ex-husband, who could cook rings around me in the kitchen, knew to keep his mouth shut when I was cooking.

I started making bacon.  Now, in order for the bacon to still be relatively hot and not completely burnt to a crisp, I cook it to about a medium and put it in the oven on paper towels to stay warm and finish cooking.  By the time the eggs and toast are ready, the bacon is perfect!  

So I was removing the bacon from the pan, John comes in and says, "Oh!  I see you like your bacon rare."   Uh, no.  Don't you remember 2 weeks ago, when I cooked it partway and finished it on the oven?   I also added I really didn't like criticism of my cooking because that's what this sounds like.    He said Oh no!  I was just trying to give you some pointers!  POINTERS!!!!  This from a man who has a freezer stocked with Hungry man dinners, easy mac and microwavable chili in his kitchen cabinets!

I know how to cook.  I'm a damned good cook.  The fact that I haven't cooked much since my ex-husband left doesn't mean I don't know how to cook.  This isn't the first time he's said something to me when I was in the midst of preparing a meal.  John has told me a few times that his last wife was "a gourmet cook".  I think that means she peeled her own potatoes and made whipped cream from scratch.   He also told me her cooking has won awards.  Big shit.  So has mine (OK so it was $10 from the local newspaper but my recipe won that week!)      

I told John is he keeps up with the left-handed compliments, it will be the last time I cook and we can eat all our meals out... and he's buying!

PS  How about them Phils!  Beating the Dodgers in Game 3 11 -0!! Woo hoo!!!


mo.stoneskin said...

These days everyone is a 'gourmet cook', it makes me sick. I'll eat my bacon raw if I want to.

Alix said...

Joanie - you are a treasure!

Don't be too hard on John... he's just a man. They can't help themselves. They are a product of inferior DNA.

And just so you know... cooking bacon in the oven is one of the great culinary secrets! It keeps grease from overtaking your stove and countertops and cooks up straight as opposed to curling up. Mention that to John next time he is giving you bacon pointers. LOL.

Larry and I made our favorite Beef Stroganoff Soup tonight and it was wonderful - mostly because we made it together. Maybe you could get chef John in the kitchen with you and he can use all his cooking wisdom to collaborate with you. You both just might surprise yourselves how much fun it can be!

Love you girl. Thought of you on Saturday as I was having a glass of wine at Vino Volo wine bar in the Philadelphia airport.

Martha in PA said...

First woo hoo Phillies!

I am sorry you were feeling cranky, I get annoyed at those kinds of comments too! I'd like to say "Do it yourself then"!

I hope you are doing better today!

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

I can't blame you for being cranky. I feel the same way when I'm cooking. If I need help or need a decision to be made, I'll ask. I'm a better cook than Jim although I always have to ask "how is it".

Alix, agree about men DNA, but you mean straight men DNA don't you? You certainly couldn't be talking about us queers now, could ya. Without us, your hair would be a mes... nevermind.

RecoveringActor said...

Don't forget our 2nd place Jewish Apple Cake!!! It's still an award even though it's 2nd place, damnit!!

Joanie M said...

I think John read this blog post. BIG apology on Facebook for all to see!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Hey, winning $10 counts as award winning cooking!
You are allowed to be cranky once in a while. If he wants to comment on the cooking he can do it his damn self!

Eternal Lizdom said...

I want more info on how you cook bacon in the oven, please. I tried it in the oven once and... well, the results weren't pretty. Unless you like your house smelling like bacon grease for a solid week because you almost caught the oven on fire because you forgot to use a pan with edges so the grease dripped and spilled all in the oven.

Ann's Rants said...

Own it, Joanie! RRRROARRRR!

Back off the bacon, Bozo.

Daria said...

You rock girl!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I actually like the bacon in the oven trick -
And you are right - if they are not cooking (who cares if they can) then they need to keep their comments OUT of the KITCHEN!

Stopping by from SITS!

Amy said...

I hope John made it up to you. I would have been ticked too.