Thursday, October 1, 2009

Dear So and So ... the Bitchin' Version

Dear Fall Weather,
I just adore your warm days and cool nights.  I just wish you wouldn't make the house so chilly so early in the season.  After all, it's only October 2.  I really don't want to kick the heat on, especially since I'm still paying for that last oil fill-up in April.


oh wait..... maybe I'm sending this to the wrong "person"...


Dear House Insulation,
You suck, you know that!!  Here it is, only October 2 and we have a few chilly nights in the 50s.  I really shouldn't need to put my heat on just yet.  Why can't you work better?



Dear TD Bank,
What is your problem??  Is it really so difficult to merge the computers for 2 banks?  You've had months and months to do this.  John's first paycheck in 5 weeks and his military pension check are NOT in the bank as they should be and his rent was due today.  You better fix this little glitch soon, or you're going to lose lots and lots of customers!  I guess I should be glad this isn't my week for an alimony check (ex also uses TD Bank)



Dear Cameron (my grey striped tabby),
What is the deal with you, hopping onto my chair every.  single.  time.  I.  get.  up?  And do you have to leave all that grey hair all over the place.  I have enough grey hair of my own.  I certainly don't need yours too!!  
Tell your brother, Mason to stop shedding all over the place too!
Itchy from all the friggin' hair,


Dear Mother Nature,
STOP THE STUPID RAIN ALREADY!  We in the Northeastern USA have certainly had our fair share this year.  My basement will never dry out if you don't stop.


Dear Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Burst,
Thank you, thank you, thank you!  You are, without a doubt, one of the best PMS drugs around.  You have saved me from time in jail, and John from possibly getting seriously hurt on the day he got out of the hospital.
A half a six pack was all I needed to ease off from the murderous tendencies I was experiencing when John was getting all full of himself as we were leaving the hospital.  I thought I'd need the entire 6 pack on Monday night, but 3 did the trick. 

Joanie (and John... whew!!)

Want to share in the fun or Dear So and So?  (you can get a lot off your chest!)  Pop on over to Kat's Place, grab the button, sign in with Mr. Linky and have fun!


Joanna Jenkins said...

"Dear Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Burst" Ha!!!!!
You crack me up.

Ice Queen said...

That Mr. Smirnoff is always there in the pinch isn't he?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You've got a way with letter Joanie. Now I'm thinking of going to the store for some raspberry burst.

Alix said...

I'm with Joanna. When you write to your Smirnoff, it's serious love.

Your Dear So and So's are the best. LOVE them.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I'm with Pseudo; feeling the need to try some ice rasberry burst. And it's only 10 am!

Joanie M said...

Maureen, I think it's coming up on happy hour in London!

Joanne said...

My passion was Absolute Mandarin - but I am sure Smirnoff is delightful.
Thanks for these!!

Intense Guy said...

I feel the pain with TD Bank...

I hope they get their mess straightened out real soon.

Daria said...

Love your Dear So and So ... they make me smile :)

Michelle said...

Linus gets in my chair the second I get up too and then gets a big attitude when I move him.

Amy said...

Love your Dear So and So posts!