I hate you! Stop growing! I hate that your former owner made you bigger and bigger each year and that asshat left and now I'm stuck with you. (maybe I sent this to the wrong person.)
No green thumb here,
Good luck telling Dad he's going to be a grandfather. If that doesn't tell him he's getting older, nothing will (although, the gray hair, bi-focals and ever expanding bald spot should be a clue)!
Excited to become a grandmother,
Get the fuck out of my house! You're killing my weight loss program! You keep calling me softly when no one is around. I can't keep losing the same 2 pounds over and over again.
Caving to carb pressure,
Get your lazy fat ass out of bed and over to the track and start walking. You'll never run if you don't start walking.
Hates to exercise,
Good luck with your wedding plans. I hope Dad doesn't have a stroke when he sees how much weddings cost. Oh wait.... (well, I could afford to have the wedding she wants... AND pay off her student loans if he croaks)
Just kidding, God,
Why not pop over the pond to Kat's Place in the UK, grab the button and get some stuff off your chest? Trust me, it feels good to release it all! Don't forget to Link your Dear So and So and lots of others will be able to read them too! Go on! You know you want to!