Infernal Revenue Service

I just finished doing my federal tax return and I am NOT a happy camper! Last year, I got a nice $2400 tax refund, maybe even $2600, I can't really remember the exact number. I thought this year, I'd get a nice big return since I don't have to claim my divorce settlement this year. I do, however, have to claim my spousal support (PA's version of alimony). Since my ex makes a nice tidy 6 figure income and he was waaaaaaay guilty about cheating and then leaving me for a slut woman 14 years younger than me, I get a nice alimony check twice a month. But apparently I have to pay taxes on this money that I earned! I shouldn't have to pay taxes on it! It should be considered a gift, for putting up with his anal retentive ways, for making me work at his restaurant at least 50 hours a week for 6 years with no pay, for raising 3 good kids, for.... oh hell...

Sorry. Got off on one of those tangents.

Anyway, this year I'm getting a whopping $111 back on my income tax. If this was a bowling score, we'd call that a shit house. I just don't understand it. I get to deduct the 2 kids, the mortgage interest, the real estate taxes, some of Tim's college expenses, uniforms for work. Still, with all that, all I'm getting back is a shit house!

I was hoping to get caught up on bills, put money away for a little vacation this summer (my friend rents me her summer house for about $500 for a week in Ocean City, MD.. a STEAL!!), catch up on Dani's tuition... sigh

President Obama! I was told if you got elected, we wouldn't have to pay our mortgage or car payments any more ! That you were going to take care of everything for us! So when can we expect that to happen? HMMM... ?

Oh well, at least I didn't owe anything (trying to look on the bright side... and it ain't workin')

Mason is a GENIUS!!

Ok, this is another cat story. Just to warn you.

I've been letting Java go out with the 2 big cats these past few days. Java is 6 months old. Cameron (gray tabby) and Mason (black domestic) are both 3 1/2 years old. Java has been staying in my yard and usually chases the other cats around, being the pesky little brother that he is.

This morning, all 3 cats go out at once. A little while later, I check on them and Mason comes strolling in. I ask him, "Where's your little brother? You're supposed to keep him with you." He looks at me with that "whatever" look and eats some food. About 30 minutes later, I look out the door and in strolls Cameron, alone. Now I'm getting nervous. "Cameron! Where is Java? He's supposed to be with you!" Cam looks at me and I swear he rolled his eyes and ran up the stairs.

So now I'm at the front door, at the back door, yelling "Java! Java!" and I'm in my too short flannel nightshirt. No Java anywhere. I'm really getting scared now because I just KNOW that Cameron let Java chase him to the other side of the neighborhood and then he ditched him!

So Mason is looking at me with his head tilted like "what is her problem?" I opened the door and told Mason, "You get out there right now and find Java and don't come back until you find him and bring him home!" Ten minute later, Mason is back home, at the front door, with Java in tow!!! Is this cat amazing or what!

John's cancer update

John had an appointment with Dr. Swaab over at the Pottstown Cancer Center today. As you know, a few weeks ago, John had his spleen removed because they found 2 teeny spots that tested positive for B-cell Lymphoma (that was the cancer he had last year). After the surgery, he had a PET scan done and a CT scan done also. Today John found out the scans were CLEAR!!! YAY!!!

Dr. Swaab now wants to keep a closer eye on him and see him in 3 months instead of 6 months. What they weren't sure of was if the cancer found on his spleen was a residual cancer that was hiding, or if it was a new outbreak. They want John to see a Lymphoma specialist at Fox Chase Cancer Center soon.

I need to do some research but John told me there was something with his T-cells... that possibly his immune system was attacking the cancer on his spleen? I'm guessing that was a good thing. Like I said, I want to do some research.

Dr. Swaab told John if they find more coming back, he'll need to do a different kind of chemo that will require him to be in the hospital for 5 days. I can only think this will make him extremely sick, so I hope he doesn't have to do this.

This is the first time I've had to deal with cancer this closely. My father died of cancer 30 years ago, but I was in my early 20s when he first got colon cancer. Dad seemed to bounce back easily. Then 2 years later, it was back with a vengeance and it was EVERYWHERE! They opened him up, shook their heads and closed him right up. He died a week later and we never told him he had cancer. Like I said, I was young, living my life, working. I didn't have to deal with Dad recuperating from his surgery... that was Mom's job. NOW I can see what it's like. And I have the 20 stress pounds on me to prove it! LOL But you know what? I'll keep doing it because I love him and he's worth it.

Why I Can't Sell My House

My ex wants me to get the house sold. I do too. We actually had the house on the market for over a year, but had no real buyers. I'd love to get the house sold and move to a smaller house. I really don't need to be living in a 2500SF home with 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. It's me and Dani here, and in August, when Dani goes to college, it will be just me.

I told my ex that aside from the fact that the bottom has dropped out of the housing market, and we'll NEVER get what we owe for the house at this point. I told him that we really can't put it back on the market until AFTER Dani leaves for college and I'll show you why shortly.

The reason we can't get what we owe for the house is because we re-financed the house about 4 times during the nearly 20 years I've lived here (16 for him). It was always a good idea at the time. Now I soooo regret it! If we had not done any refinancing, we would have the house paid in full by August of this year. The last time we did a re-finance, it was after Greg left and was living with the slut woman he left me for. He needed money to live on. I don't see why. She had a perfectly good condo that she was paying for. All he really needed was spending money and I was perfectly willing to continue to give him $300 every other week like I did for years. Anyway, as usual, he got his way and we did a final re-finance. And it was an INTEREST ONLY LOAN!! So today I owe exactly what I owed 4 years ago when we did this asinine thing.

So we can't sell the house because with the economy, it's worth less than we owe and there is no money to pay for the difference. The other reason I can't put the house on the market right now is I have to wait until Dani leaves for college. The child is a slob like you cannot believe! I have given up. I can't keep the house clean for longer than maybe a day, most likely less than that. And when I go to John's overnight it's worse. I honestly believe she's punishing me for the divorce, for having a boyfriend who she despises, for her father marrying that slut woman. Once she's gone, I can keep the house neat and clean all the time!

I took pictures of her bathroom, her bedroom and the spare room she supposedly used for a sewing room. I'm not even sure you can see the sewing machine in that room! Actually, except for the kitchen table and some stuff in the sink, the kitchen isn't too bad right now.

It does no good to punish her. She comes and goes as she pleases. I'm too tired to fight with her any more. I just don't know what to do until she leaves. So here they are:

I ran out of memory on my camera because Dani helped herself to my memory card and my camera holds maybe 5 pictures. So I wasn't able to do "justice" to her bedroom. The last picture is her bedroom.

Funniest comments ever!

I'm new to the "He Blogs, She Blogs" that Petra and Heinous were doing, and I really like it. Now it seems, Heinous is taking a break and Petra needs a new "He Blogs" partner and baby, the gloves came off this week! If nothing else, it will certainly give these fellows new readership. As of now, I already read Irish Gumbo, Us and Them and Idiot's Stew. I realize I need to read the other candidates at well.
I just finished reading all the many many comments made by the participants and all I have to say is it's a damn good thing I wear Depends! I was very nearly wetting myself reading all that trash talk! If you want to see what I'm talking about, check this out and read the comments. I am so thoroughly amused by all this! I cannot wait to read their responses to the questions that Petra gave them to answer!
Good luck, gentleman and may the best man win!

Liz at Eternal Lizdom interviewed me!

Liz sent me some questions about my life. I'll be as frank and honest as I can be. So here goes nothing!

Q 1. You work at TGI Friday's, right? (she loves the green beans appetizer... yummy!) anyway... Liz said tell me about your favorite kind of customer and the absolute worst kind of customer. If you could be doing any other job, what would it be?

Answer: Yes, I work at Friday's and next Wednesday will be my 6th anniversary there. I am a server, a coach, an in-store trainer and a shift leader.

My favorite kind of customer (we call them guests) are the regulars who come in, the ones we call by name. I know what they like to drink and often-times, will bring their drink to the table as I greet them. It helps when I remember how they like certain foods cooked, and their special orders. And that's why they ask to sit in my station.

The worst customers? The ones who run my ass over and over. The ones who expect to get all their food for free if the fries are cold. It's not MY fault you were outside on the cell phone or in the bathroom when your food arrived. And they will almost always give a bad tip. I've learned that businessmen are bad tippers. Hey guys! You have an expense account! You aren't even paying for this meal with your own money! Leave a decent tip and 10% is NOT a decent tip!!!

The rudest customers? (I know you didn't ask but I'm telling you anyway... I'm on a roll now!) The ones who will not shut up when I approach the table! I have things to do and one of them is not to be standing there like an idiot waiting for you to stop talking so I can at least get your friggin' drink order! And don't get me started on people on cell phones! I'll come back when you're finished your call. whew! OK, I'm done.

If I wasn't a server, I'd be a hairdresser. I used to be one, once upon a time and I was a damned good one too! Long story, but I got tired of having to start all over again with clientele. We moved a few times and the last time my license didn't get forwarded because too much time had passed. I had gone back to work after being home for 5 years, then promptly got pregnant with Dani, so I only worked for a year. I couldn't take standing behind a chair for hours any more. It's actually easier on my feet and legs and back to run around a restaurant than to stand in one spot for hours.

Q 2: You've had a lot of turbulence in your life over the past decade with the divorce and John's illness and your kids and them handling the divorce and your new relationship. What was the most peaceful time in your life? When were you the happiest? What made those times so good?

Answer: The most peaceful time in my life and when I was the happiest was when the kids were little and I was a stay-at-home-mom. I LOVED being home with my kids. I could volunteer at their school, go on field trips, we had play groups in the neighborhood. I had dinner ready every night and the housework was easier because I didn't have to try to balance a job and housework, etc. We joined the local pool and the kids and I would go every day.

The turbulence and divorce and John's illness all happened over the course of 5 years, although it seemed like it was longer. The divorce was really hard on all of us. I don't know if I did the right thing or not, but I told my kids the truth, that their father was having an affair and he was leaving me for her. I wasn't going to sugarcoat it for him. He was a prick and those kids were not going to blame me for his leaving. There are a lot of times when I wish he had left and not looked back. If I never saw him again, it would be ok with me.

My relationship with John is wonderful... as long as Danielle is not around. She hates him, plain and simple (she also hates her stepmother and only just met her a couple of months ago and they've been together for about 5 years now) Gina and Tim both like John. They can see that I'm happy again and they seem ok with it. Gina and Tim have both tried to talk to Dani about him, but she won't budge. I'd need pages and pages to explain all this and you all really don't need to "hear" it, so I'll leave it at that.

But I do love John because he makes me happy. He's weird, he's a geek, he's 56 years old and he plays Dungeons and Dragons on Friday nights. He's opinionated about politics (when he starts on one of his rants, I hear wah, wah, wah wah wah wah (the adults in Charlie Brown cartoons) and religion. He's a retired Army Airborne military man. He's a diehard Libertarian and disliked McCain and Obama intensely and loved Ron Paul. But with all that, to me, he's kind and gentle and loving and he makes sure I know it in no uncertain terms every day of my life.

Q 3: You seem to be an amazing mom for teenagers. I love how accepting you are of the drama that unfolds around you for your daughter's friends and that your daughter knows that her friends can find support and such in your home. Which also sends a message to your daughter that she has a place to fall when needed. Any advice on how you accomplish that or does it just come naturally? Does your daughter appreciate you being this way?

Answer: I really don't know how to answer this question. The 2 girls who came to my home are girls that I like. They respect me, they talk to me. If they weren't like that, they wouldn't have been there. Gina can tell you, I'm not opposed to throwing someone's ass out of my house if they piss me off! There were 2 of her friends who weren't allowed in my house for a number of years. One of them eventually grew on me. The other is just a selfish bitch and Gina FINALLY saw it! But Dani's friends recently needed a safe place to stay and they knew they could find it at my house.I always let my kids have friends stay over whenever they wanted. That way, I knew where MY kids were!

I really don't know if Danielle appreciates anything I do for her. She's very selfish and mean when she doesn't get her way. Although that seems to be easing off a bit as she gets older. I think her going away to school will be a very good thing. Now if I can just get her and John to tolerate each other for my sake, my life would be a lot easier!

Q4: What was your childhood like? Tell as much as you want....

Answer: I am the 4th of 8 kids. We didn't have money. I have no idea how my mother fed us, clothed us, educated us in Catholic schools. College was not an option for us, although most of my siblings eventually got degrees.

In my family, we have a nun who is also a nurse but was the head of her order for 8 years (Irish, she's a Sister of Bon Secours... they're based in Marriottsville, MD), another nurse who now works assisting surgeons in operating rooms, a plumber turned building inspector for the government, a hairdresser turned server (me!), an office manager for a plumbing company, an electrician, a retired computer programmer and a teacher. Three of my 4 brothers served in the Marines, one for 20 years. I have a brother who is gay and has been LIVING with AIDS for 25 years and will most likely outlive us all.

My parents were strict with my mother being the disciplinarian. I guess I was happy as a kid. I really don't remember a lot about it. I don't remember wanting for anything, but we knew better than to ask because the money just wasn't there. We didn't go on vacations, except a day at the shore and going to visit my grandmother (yuck! she lived in the coal regions of PA and she was a mean spirited bitch).

I was in between the 2 troublemakers in the family (Michael and Jeanne) so I pretty much flew under my parents radar. I never got caught smoking or drinking. I know my parents HATED my boyfriend, Kevin who I dated from 16 to 21. My mother said a novena every night for 5 years that we'd break up. When we did, she said a novena of Thanksgiving! I swear!

I lived at home until I was 24 and my mom was pissed when I told her I was moving out and getting an apartment. She got over it and I got married a year and a half later anyway.

Q 5: What do you imagine your life will be like in 5 years? In 10? What do you dream of and what do you think it will really be?

Answer: In 5 years, I hope John will be healthy and we're still together. I'd like to move to the South, where it's warm (usually). I've had enough of cold and snow and freezing rain to last me a lifetime!

I'd like to travel some with John. I want to see Alaska and he wants to travel the west via train through the Rockies and Grand Canyon. I want to go to Hawaii and Ireland and Greece. I want to go back to the Caribbean and go on cruises.

In 5 years, I hope I have a grandchild or 2. To see my kids happy and in loving relationships of their own. I'd love to see Gina perform on stage again (I miss it!) I want to see Dani pursue a career on the stage, but actually I see her more as a teacher. I'm not sure what direction Tim's life is taking, but I hope he finds something that he loves to do.

In 10 years, more of the same! I hope John and I are both healthy and enjoying life.

I dream of having a peaceful family, without the drama that we've had in these past few years. There's a reason I want my license plate to read DRMA MMA (drama mama) LOL!

I'm not sure if John and I will ever marry. I don't think it's that important any more. He has 4 ex-wives. I told him if we every get married I was going to be his LAST wife! Either it's going to work or I'm gonna kill him!

So that's it! Hope I didn't lose anyone on the way!

I'm baaacccckkkk!!!!!

I managed to make a little more money today at work ($44) and I remembered that I had $40 in my wallet (this is part of the money I'm supposed to use to put a deposit on Dani's dorm room at school next year. (Relax, I'll send the school a check as soon as my support check arrives.). They I cashed in all the change in my change basket in my bedroom (22.78) and my big whopping $25 paycheck and the $20 I use as a bank in my work apron. I added that to the $17 I started out with and I had enough to pay my cable bill! When I added it all up, it came to $173 and change, so I was golden! So now I won't have to go to Burger King tomorrow for breakfast! Good thing because I don't have a nickel on me now!

Now if I could only work that kind of magic to come up with $364 to pay my cell phone bill.

Thank Goodness For Burger King!

WARNING!!! WARNING!! BITCHING AND MOANING TODAY!!!

So, I'm at Burger King for breakfast this morning and there's a pretty good chance I"ll be at BK for breakfast tomorrow morning too. Why? you ask? Because Joanie didn't pay her comcast bill and her Internet, phone and cable has been suspended.

** Hahahaha!!! After reading Alix's comment, I realize that I didn't say WHY I was at Burger King! I'm here for the free Internet access!!! I was going through Blogspot withdraw!! LOL!!! ahem! Now that THAT is cleared up, please continue with my rant.**

The phone doesn't matter because my teenage daughter has lost most of the cordless phones and they don't work any more and as soon as my contract is up next month, I'll no longer have a land line anyway. (why keep one if we all use cell phones now?) My regular cable TVs work but my digital high def TV does not. As of today, I have $17 towards my cable bill and I owe $155. I'm hoping by the weekend I'll have made enough money to pay this bill. Then I'm going to cancel my phone, cancel digital cable and get regular cable since I rarely use all those hundreds of other channels anyway. Dani won't like it, but tough shit kiddo!

I hate being divorced and having to still pay the same bills I had when we had a 6 figure income when I was married. I wish I could figure out a way to lower my cell phone bill. I have 4 phones on my plan and John is the only one who gives me money on a regular basis for his phone. I pay for the kids. Chances are those phones are all going to be turned off soon if I don't send them money too. I should be getting a support check soon, hopefully this weekend and I can catch up on my bills. And my son brought me his last W2 form, so I can now do our taxes and the 2 kids' FAFSA reports for college next year. Once I get my tax refund I can catch up even more!

Once Danielle graduates from high school, I won't have tuition worries any more.

Happy (yeah right) Groundhog's Day

So Poor Punxsutawny Phil (who hails from a small town called Gobbler's Knob, near Punxsutawny, PA in western part of the state,) has been dragged from this nice warm burrow to determine if we will have 6 more weeks of winter. Surprise, surprise!!! He saw it and we're having more winter.
According to German superstition, if a hibernating animal casts a shadow on Feb. 2 — the Christian holiday of Candlemas — winter will last another six weeks. If no shadow is seen, legend says, spring will come early.

It actually has been somewhat warm for February. Yesterday we reached a high of about 51 degrees and today was a high of 46 here in Southeastern Pennsylvania. That won't last long though, because the temps are supposed to drop and it'll be back in the low 20s by Wednesday, with snow showers all week. I'm surprised we aren't getting a major storm tomorrow since it's Tuesday and it seems we always get snow or freezing rain on Tuesdays.

I would be quite happy if spring did come early. I'm tired of cold, I'm tired of my oil bill. We didn't even have that much snow yet but I'm tired of it, too. And next winter, the down side of empty nest syndrome is I'll have to shovel this freaking driveway by myself! And my driveway is long enough to hold four cars! I'm telling you, North or South Carolina or Georgia is starting to look real good to me.

Hotel Joanie

So, another one of Dani's friends has been kicked out of her house, because she went out after being grounded. What is it with these people? Nikki's mother told her she was sick of looking at her and didn't want her around. So Nikki said, 'fine with me!' She packed her bags and is now taking up residence in my son's room, while he's away at school. I found this out when I came home from John's this morning and found Nikki in my kitchen and Dani not here because she was at play rehearsal.

I could refuse to let her stay here, but where will she go? At least I know she's safe and warm and going to school and to work. And I like Nikki. She's always polite to me, she talks to me. And she'll probably only be here for a few days.

I can't call her mom. I've never met the woman, I don't even know her name (which is different than Nikki's). I don't know the number. I'm wondering if Child Services is going to show up at my house again. I told Dani they better get this place cleaned up, just in case!

Could be worse.... it could be Karie! A rude, thankfully former friend of Dani's. And Karie would NOT be staying, under any circumstances. Any kid who will refuse to even say hello to me in my own home isn't welcome here... ever.

UPDATE: No sooner had I posted this last entry when Dani tells me that Nikki is going home after she gets done work. Apparently her mom called her bluff and told her if she's not home tonight, she's never setting foot in the house again and Nikki caved. Not sure I agree with mom's tactics but it worked.