Dear So and So... Just Sayin' Edition

Dear Tim,

Yes, I'll be happy to take your cat, Tucker for the summer while you look for a place to live after you graduate.  I do not, however, take any responsibility to any damage inflicted on him by the 2 resident cats, Cameron and Mason, who have claws and know how to use them.   Not my problem that he was de-clawed and has no way to protect himself. 

Love you, but I'm just sayin'

Mom

Dear Tim,

I'm curious if you asked Daddy Dearest if he would take the cat, since he has one too.  Either you didn't because you knew I'd do it for you, or he said no.

Just wonderin'

Mom

Dear Gina,

Congrats on getting your passport in such a timely fashion for your trip to Ireland in May.  You know what would be a LOVELY Mother's Day gift?  If I could go with you to Ireland.  I love Colleen too, ya know!  AND I have a passport! 

Afraid you might get lost on your way,

Your loving Mother

Dear Paul,

Well it seems that you have left this life as oddly as you lived it.  You were an odd duck and you sure knew how to entertain people.  Your imitation of your father was uncanny by all accounts.  I did enjoy your music and your company when we saw you.  I'm glad I was able to spend Christmas with you.  You surely will be missed.

Rest in peace,

Joan

Dear Dani,

I'm glad you had such a great time with Lauryn in Oregon on your Spring Break.  Do you realize you were able to visit her three times in the past year?  It won't be long before Lauryn and Lillian will be visiting us this summer!  It sucks that your plane leaving Denver was delayed and now you'll be landing in Philly at the height of rush hour.  I am very happy, however, that you now have wheels and I won't have to drive you back to school on Sunday!

Love,

Mom

Dear Winter,

Good riddance!!!  I'm glad you're gone and don't show your ugly face around here again!  At least not until 2011 and feel free to skip the Northeast next year.

Had enough,

Joan


Dear VodkaMom,
I do believe I have hit the maximum times I'm allowed to vote for you on Babble's Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  I tested my theory on a blog far below yours and I was able to vote for that one.  That really sucks because reading the goody goody, my baby is perfect and aren't I a wonderful mother blogs make me gag.  7th Place is surely a great place to be, but I was hoping we could get you closer to the top.  I'll still try to remember to keep the plug for Babble on my posts. 

One of your biggest fans and fellow uh... Oregonian,
Joanie

Dear Readers,

Why not pop over the pond to Kat's Place in the UK, grab the button and get some stuff off your chest?  Trust me, it feels good to release it all!  Don't forget to Link your Dear So and So and lots of others will be able to read them too!  Go on!  You know you want to!

Love,

Joanie

TMI

I'm feeling kind of lazy today.  Could be because I'm tired.  I woke up in the middle of the night (3am), got dressed and headed to Redner's Market (open 24/7) for some pharmaceuticals.  Okay, I have a hemorrhoid, the real kind... not the male kind and I just couldn't wait until morning to get something for it.  It took me about 2 hours to get back to sleep.  Then I was wide awake at 8:30.  Sigh.  Now I feel like I need a nap.

I should be cleaning, but frankly, I just don't feel like it.  My kid will be back from Oregon in 2 days and will be home for 2 days before heading back to school.  At least now she has a car, thanks to Daddy Dearest and Maleficent, and I don't have to make that trip again.  Anyway, she'll most likely trash the place and I thought, why bother until she's gone?

My good friend, Matty at Matty's Thoughts has a really good little video clip that y'all should check out.  It's about moms.  And if my kids are lurking, yeah, that's how it is and that's how I feel. <3

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I was supposed to meet my next door neighbor for breakfast this morning and I totally forgot!  I'm so glad she called me to cancel until next week!  

John got the results of his PET scan and it shows no sign of returning cancer!  YAY!!!

I am loving this weather with temps in the mid to high 50s!  Bring on temps in the 70s Mother Nature!

I've learned if I drive 4.5 hours to Indiana, PA, load up a car with 2 teens and some luggage, then immediately drive 4.5 hours home (totalling 550 miles), I will sleep really well, like I haven't slept in years.

Fortunately I don't have to make that drive very often.

Although I have made it 6 times since December 2008.

Dani told me I really have to watch Glee.  I was able to get the last 5 episodes on my computer last night and watched all 5, finishing up at 2 am.  Now I'm hooked!

I just realized it's Lost night and The Biggest Loser night!  

Lost is starting to piss John off.  He says they're supposed to be answering questions but all they're doing is giving him more questions.  I think they are answering questions... just not as clearly as he'd like them answered.

I'm still mega behind on my blog reading.  It's all your fault!  If so many of you didn't have such great blogs, I wouldn't be following so many! 

John and I saw Alice In Wonderland on Saturday night.  The more I think about it, the less I liked it.  Anyone else see it? 

I think that's it for Random!  Now go visit Keely, grab the RTT button , link up to her blog and do some randomness too!

All Clear!!

John had his PET scan last week to check for Lymphoma.  He gets them every 3 months now because he had the kind of cancer that likes to keep coming back.   Last summer, he had a stem cell transplant to try to kill the cancer once and for all.  March is 6 months since his release from the hospital and his PET scan is showing  NO SIGNS OF CANCER!!!!  Woo Hoo!!!  Cause for celebration!!!!!

For those of you who may be new to my blog, you can read about John's 2+ year battle with Lymphoma, and how he came back from Stage 4 cancer. You can read a fairly complete story here.

This is such great news!  John's never gone 6 months without the Lymphoma showing up!!  I'm really starting to believe that maybe, just maybe the cancer is gone for good!!!  Another PET scan is scheduled for June 2010.  I'm not sure how long they'll watch him every 3 months or when they'll start lengthening the time between scans.  All I know is I'm as happy as a pig in shit right now!

Six Word Saturday

 

Spring is trying to spring!  YAY!!!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

 

This is me, being random.  OK, normally you need to go to Keely's blog, The Un-Mom, but apparently she's taking the day off.  So, for today, you have to jump over the pond to Merry Olde England and visit Amy's blog at The Bitchin' Wives Club and grab the button there to do some randomness of your own!   Be sure to leave your link there, so others can see how random you truly can be!

Yay!!!  The Biggest Loser is back tonight!  I can't wait to see what drama they can stir up.

It's also LOST! night!  I sure hope they answer all the questions that I have or I'm gonna be pissed when this is over!

I have to drive (maybe for the last time) to Indiana, PA to get my kid for Spring Break.  sigh.  Nine hours (4.5 hours each way) in the car.  If I don't pick up a 24 oz coffee at Wawa, I might make it in 4 hours.  

The good news is, she now has a car waiting here, so I don't have to drive her back to school!  

Here's the deal.  The ex gave my son a used Blazer for his 21st birthday, last year. Maleficent (the trophy wife with the abnormally fat ass) got a new car a week or so ago, so, for Son's college graduation, Ex and Maleficent gave Son her 4 year old Honda.  So the Blazer now gets passed on to Youngest Daughter.  And supposedly, when Youngest Daughter trashes the Blazer, Daddy Dearest is going to buy her a NEW CAR!  

That's probably the one thing I miss about being married.  I got a new car every 3 or  4 years, and I didn't have to think twice if I wanted to go shopping.  I don't miss him, just the perks.

I broke my bed again... this time for good.  And we weren't even doing anything this time!  So now I have to get a new frame.  For the time being, my box spring and mattress are on the floor.  I feel like a hippy!

The list of crap I need to replace is growing... dryer is top on the list, dishwasher, now bed frame.  

I did spring for new work shoes. My feets are happy again.

I think we might be getting some snow tonight but it might miss us.  Sorry, Gina... looks like Delaware is on the hit list again.  But it should be small this time.

I really enjoyed watching the Olympics this year!  Canada threw a pretty good party!   That hockey game was great!  Too bad USA lost, but Silver ain't so bad!  

Congrats to the USA and to our Northern Cousins, Canada for all the great medal wins.  Since the USSR has been broken up, we actually have decent chances to win medals! 

OK, I think I ran out of random!  Now, go on.  Get random too!!!

I'm Brilliant! Bloody Brilliant, in fact!

 

I think having an award bestowed on you, here in Blogiland, is something simply terrific!  It shows me, at least, that there are people here who like what I write and, in acknowledging this, let's others know about my blog and maybe more folks will read it.  So I was very  surprised and pleased when I got a comment from Jane at Gaston Studios, telling me she had something on her blog for me.  I enjoy reading her blog.  Jane has wonderful stories of her travels!!  If you haven't read any of her stuff, you really should check her out!  She is brilliant and she has the award to prove it!

I'd really like to pass this wonderful award on to my very good friend, Alix at Casa Hice!  Her blog is taking off like wildfire!  I sure wish I knew her secret!  Alix has such a way with words.  She's funny and straight-forward.  And she tells the best stories!  And the way she spars with Garret at RV'ing!  Living with Jim and Garret!  It's all I can do not to spit my morning coffee all over my monitor! (you need to check Jim and Garret out also!)

So, thank you, Jane for this wonderful award!  I'm thrilled to accept it!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Six Word Saturday

 

Certain people need to lighten up!

(I'm talking about certain co-workers here)

 

Want to try your own Six Word Saturday? Go see Cate at Show My Face and link up!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

Dear So and So: @#$%^&* Snow Edition

 

Dear Mother Nature,

Thanks for screwing up my plans to get snowed in with John for a few days.  You SAID we were going to get a foot or more of snow, beginning Wednesday night until sometime Friday morning..  I packed my bag, I brought breakfast foods, I high-tailed my arse over to John's (even made sure the cats had food, water, clean litterbox), only to wake up Thursday morning to big wet snowflakes that weren't accumulating anywhere!  I had to get dressed and friggin' go to work!  And I had to drive an hour to get there!!!  

 Pissed,

Joanie

Dear Stupid Assed Mother Nature,

You fickle mean bitch!  NOW you lay all the snow, now that I'm home in my house and John is home at his house??  I'll probably be home all day tomorrow by myself.  I'm not sure if John will attempt to make the trip here to my house after work tomorrow.  You are so ruining my love life!  Knock it the F**k off!

 GRRRR,

Joanie

Dear Mother Nature,

If you bring that rumored snowstorm here on March 7 like people are talking about and prevent my kid from making her flight to Oregon to visit her friend for spring break and she's stuck here all pissed and bitching at me, I'm gonna hurt someone.  You're messing with my blood pressure now.

Dear Powerball Lottery,

Please please please let me win one of these days very soon so I can get the F out of Pennsylvania and go someplace warm and tropical before I kill someone.  To be able to get a new roof and carpeting and other fun stuff would be cool too.  If you do this for me, I'll share, I promise!!!

 Pleadingly,

Joanie

Dear Ex-husband (what's  a Dear So and So if you can't bitch to your ex once in a while), 

I just love when I mentioned that one of the alternatives was for Dani to live with you while she goes to Cosmetology School, you said that would never work.  No shit, Sherlock!  We can't have your own CHILD interfering with your nice little life and nice little house!  I was told it was YOUR idea in the first place, but I think you lied to me (what a surprise... you lying)  What I think REALLY happened was you suggested it to Dani and then, when you mentioned it to Maleficent, she probably said no way in hell!  Guess you haven't grown that set of balls yet.  Another big surprise.  (oh that felt good!)

Not sharing her lottery winnings with you and will still take that alimony, thank you very much,

You first ex-wife

Dear Gina,

I hope you have a really good time in Ireland in May, even if you don't take me with you.  Give Colleen a big hug for me and kiss the Blarney Stone for me.

Love,

Mom

Dear Max,

I sure hope you come over and shovel this snow for me like you did last week!  I have dollars!!!!

Your neighbor,

Mrs. Poletti

Dear Vancouver,

Thanks for throwing such a great party these past couple of weeks!  I've really enjoyed watching the games each evening!  

Loving the Olympics,

Joanie

Dear American Athletes,

Congratulations on winning all those medals!!!  It's been a pleasure watching you all perform these past few weeks!!!  Your prowess on the ice and snow is impressive!

A red, white and blue fan,

Joanie

Dear Readers,

Why not pop over the pond to Kat's Place in the UK, grab the button and get some stuff off your chest?  Trust me, it feels good to release it all!  Don't forget to Link your Dear So and So and lots of others will be able to read them too!  Go on!  You know you want to!

Love,

Joanie

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #7!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!

RTT: Oh, this and that

 

I love being random!  Do you want to be random?  Just pop on over to Keely's blog The Un-Mom, grab the button, and do some randomness of your own!  Just make sure you linkup to her blog so we can read how random you truly are!

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in a week.  That is so not like me.  

I love coffee in the morning.  What I don't like is it raises my glucose levels.  So not fair.  I drink it black, no sugar.

I'm wondering is Captain Dumbass has had a chance to see any speed skating this past week.  I mean live, in the stands, not on TV.  So cool that the Olympics are being shown in his hometown!  By the way, the Cap'n has a great blog, Us And Them, and his kids are adorable and hysterical!  You should check him out if you don't already.

By the way, Captain, that's a lotta testosterone in your house, but I KNOW Supreme Leader can handle it.

I am sooooo jealous of my oldest child!  She's going to Ireland to visit her very good friend, Colleen, who is going to grad school there.  I told Gina I have a passport, and I'd be more than happy to keep her company on the trip, but she sort of ignored that.  Oh well.... when I win the Powerball lottery, I'm going to all the places I wish I could visit (Ireland, Alaska, Canada, Greece, a lot of other  places in the good ol' US of A)

So my youngest offspring has decided that college might not be for her.  She wants to go to hairdressing school in Philly and venture out on her own.  I wish she'd stay in college and get her degree, but who am I to tell her not to become a hairdresser if that's what she really wants to do!  I was a hairdresser, once upon a time and I made a decent living at it.  She has the talent for it and she could always go back to college and work as a stylist in the future.  I just want her, and my other kids to be happy in what they are doing.  That's most important!

To round out news of my offspring, my son is graduating from college in a  few short months and is in the process of sending out resumes.  I was talking to his dad last night (sometimes, ya just gotta whether you want to or not) and he told me that the jobs my son is looking at are all in New York.  I hope he finds something soon (and I hope they want to pay for him to go to grad school so he doesn't have to pay for it himself!)

OK, time to get this butt to work.  Thanks for stopping by!

Peace out!

psst!  I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog.  Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her!  And you can vote more than once!  As a matter of fact, you can vote once a day!  Last time I checked she was ranked #8!  Simply click here to go to the site.  And check out her blog!  You won't be sorry!!