Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Happiness after 50

This is the story of John and how we met, quite by accident.... on the internet.

As you may know, I found myself suddenly single at the age of 49. I never, in my wildest dreams, imagine I'd be single again. Widowed maybe but not divorced! That happened to other people. Apparently I am other people.

I joined several online dating sites..., yahoo personals, etc. EHarmony said I needed to be legally divorced to join. I met a few guys and found almost all of them to be married, trying to get laid by anyone who was willing. ick! There were a few I chatted with for months and month and no meeting. This went on for about a year and a half. And I'll admit I wasn't the most sane person at the time. Desperate for affection, hoping to find someone to love again, I met some real winners!

I was just resigning myself to a life of solitude and living alone when I found this site called True Beginnings aka I can't even tell you how I found it, if it was via email or an ad on a game site or whatever. It offered 3 days free, so I figured what the hell, I'll fill in the blanks and see what happens. I put up a real picture of myself and was very honest about me. Once or twice a week, true would send me an email with 12 guys who matched my criteria. I never ever made the first move! I'm way too insecure for that!!

One day, a month or so after I joined, I get an email from a guy who lives on the other side of the county. His message basically says "Hi! Thanks for the wink!" huh???? I didn't send anyone a wink! I'm too shy for that! So I look at his profile and think that he seems harmless looking in a grandfatherly sort of way and I respond with "Well, I didn't send a wink, but hi!" We exchange info about ourselves. I'm 4th of 8 kids, he's 4th of 7 kids. He went to Catholic schools, so did I. He's a row house kid from Philly, I'm a row house kid from just outside the city.

We email back and forth for a few weeks and try to get in a private chat room to talk and we can't figure out how to do it, so he gives me his home phone number. I hem and haw for a few days and finally call him one evening. We were on the phone for more than 3 hours that night and an hour and half the next 2 times we talked! I learned a lot about him and he was quite honest about himself. (his family has verified everything he's told me in stories about their growing years, etc.) John tells me he was in the Army for 20 years, is now retired and working at a chemical company as a security guard and tutors kids in the evening in math and science. Then he told me he'd been married 4 times! I have no idea why I didn't hang up the phone right then and there! Was I that desperate? I was certainly interested! And glad of his honesty.

We decided to meet, and he comes to my job as I'm finishing work. We go to dinner and see a movie and we really hit it off! I felt so comfortable with him, from the very beginning! I'm happier now than I've been in many years. We've been together for 2 1/2 years now and plan to stay together for the rest of our lives.

I don't know if we'll ever get married. John wants to get married but I don't want to, at last not yet. My ex has to give me spousal support until Dec 2014 and I've earned every penny and if I remarry it will stop. I worked for my ex for 6 years for no pay, so that alone makes me want to wait. I also found out when I went to the Social Scurity office to change my name back to my maiden name that if I don't remarry until after I'm 60, I'll still qualify for my ex's social security and he makes a LOT more money than I do! I'll be 59 when my support runs out, so I can wait another year! I promised John I'd marry him for his 63rd birthday!

So that's our story and I'm sticking to it!


Jim and Garret said...

Ooooo, a happy story. Funny about the wink. Did you ever find out what had happened with that? Did he make that up to start a conversation?


Joanie6726 said...

No! He really did get a wink! I think True Beginnings "helps" people along and sends winks out. Apparently everyone on that email got a wink from me. LOL! I actually got a few responses from that. John's was the only one I responded to. There was just something about him...