Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's Affirmations

I got this email from my cousin,Vince, and thought I'd share with all of you. Sounds like a plan.

Alternative Affirmations...
It is a time of resolutions. I made one resolution many years ago and I have stuck to it. I resolved to no longer make resolutions. The following are some alternative affirmations for a new year.
At the end of one year and the start of another, many of us will renew our commitment to living with daily affirmations. I know the power of affirming my truth, over and over, everyday! While these may not suit everyone's taste, here are some "possible" affirmations to consider!

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

8. I am at one with my duality.

9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?

16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot .


Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Those are hilarious! i am all about #3 and #6. I am totally willing to accept responsibility unless it is someone else's problem!

happy New Year, Joanie!!

Braja said...

Joanie, my lovely, have a WONDERFUL 2009....I hope the next month goes ok for you both....


Jim and Garret said...

I love them. Sounds like great resolutions.


Alix said...

Oddly, these are perfectly logical affirmations to me. Very funny stuff. Thanks for sharing!

Queen Bee said...

That's pretty funny. Have a Happy New Year!

Irish Gumbo said...

I am astonished at how many of these I can identify with! I especially like #8: brilliant, or BS? One may never know...

Joanie, thank you for stopping by to read "Last Page In The Book". What you said is, quite homestly, one of the highest compliments I have ever received. Thank you very much, and all good blessings to you in the New Year!

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i LOVE the masthead photo!


i'm snagging some of those resolutions my sister!

happy new year!!


Joanie said...

Thanks everyone! And Gumbo and Mouthy, welcome! We Micks have to stick together! :)