I was going to save this for closer to St. Patrick's Day but, frankly, I don't feel like thinking tonight. So here ya go! Enjoy and Tabhair póg dom. Tàim Eireannach.
What It Means To Be Irish and Have an Irish Family
1) You will never play professional basketball. (at 5' maybe, i don't think so!)
2) You swear very well. (WTF?)
3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun or uncle who's a priest. (I used to own a restaurant/bar, one of my brothers was a fireman and my oldest siser is a nun lol)
4) You think you sing very well. (not since Sr. Mary Leo told the class I sing like a frog!... mean old bitch)
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short! (hey! I resemble that remark!)
6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone... (my ex should thank the gods there's no gun in my house)
7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.
8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer (Catholic guilt forever!). (Now I know why I have bad knees!)
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers. (and painfully honest)
11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot. (I'll tell you stuff I'd never tell sober)
12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations. (hahaha!!!)
14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen ... and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen . (cousin Eileen, niece Catherine, sister Anne Marie ..close enough)
15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking. (so true)
18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are ... but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.
21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully . Then you probably know McMurphy. (my last name is Mack! Really!)
22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... you forget every thing but the grudges!
24) 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'
25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of driver's license,loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from a punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.
26) Your skin's ability to tan.... not so much. (nah, I'm black Irish... I tan)
27) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. in a bar/pub. (met my ex-husband in a bar)
28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey.
29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.
(I have 4 brothers, 3 sisters, 4 spouses of sibs, 3 kids, 6 nephews, 5 nieces, 5 spouses of those kids, 5 great nephews and 4 great nieces. 45 minutes is a conservative figure!)
30) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other. (yup!! 2 brothers!)