Thursday, February 26, 2009

What it means to be Irish

I was going to save this for closer to St. Patrick's Day but, frankly, I don't feel like thinking tonight. So here ya go! Enjoy and Tabhair póg dom. Tàim Eireannach.

What It Means To Be Irish and Have an Irish Family

1) You will never play professional basketball. (at 5' maybe, i don't think so!)

2) You swear very well. (WTF?)

3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun or uncle who's a priest. (I used to own a restaurant/bar, one of my brothers was a fireman and my oldest siser is a nun lol)

4) You think you sing very well. (not since Sr. Mary Leo told the class I sing like a frog!... mean old bitch)

5) You have no idea how to make a long story short! (hey! I resemble that remark!)

6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone... (my ex should thank the gods there's no gun in my house)

7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.

8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.

9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer (Catholic guilt forever!). (Now I know why I have bad knees!)

10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers. (and painfully honest)

11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot. (I'll tell you stuff I'd never tell sober)

12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.

13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations. (hahaha!!!)

14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen ... and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen . (cousin Eileen, niece Catherine, sister Anne Marie ..close enough)

15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.

16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking. (so true)

18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are ... but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.

19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.

21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully . Then you probably know McMurphy. (my last name is Mack! Really!)

22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... you forget every thing but the grudges!

24) 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'

25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of driver's license,loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from a punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.

26) Your skin's ability to tan.... not so much. (nah, I'm black Irish... I tan)

27) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. in a bar/pub. (met my ex-husband in a bar)

28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey.

29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.
(I have 4 brothers, 3 sisters, 4 spouses of sibs, 3 kids, 6 nephews, 5 nieces, 5 spouses of those kids, 5 great nephews and 4 great nieces. 45 minutes is a conservative figure!)

30) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other. (yup!! 2 brothers!)


2L3Bs World said...

Hi Joanie,
You made my morning glow with fun. Hahaha.. You made me laugh reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your Irish side.. See you again soon.

miss amy said...

Great post!!

I can relate to quite a few of these traits.

Banoffi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Banoffi said...

Sorry I deleted the last comment. That was a great post. Irish can drink anyone under the table and they have so many pubs everywhere. Although given most people may have descended from Britain a lot of us coud answer these questions. I know I could.

Queen Bee said...

Everything is true except I don't have any nuns in the family...but I'm still young. Haha

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I'm only a quarter Irish and a lot of those apply to me too!

Alix said...

I so love you, Joanie! And great news... I'm Irish as defined by:
2, 5, 6, 10, 16, 17, 18, 29, 30!

Hooray and pass the green beer.