Friday, May 8, 2009

My New Job

My 1-day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,

a good find for many retirees,

I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,

mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,

yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly,

'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there. Are they twins?

'The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, '

Hell no, they ain't twins.

The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.

Why the hell would you think they're twins?

Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,

I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.


Lonne Mann said...

Nonetheless, you crafted a put-down line good enough to print on a T-shirt! Kudos.

Sally's World said... it, i've always wished i could come up ith something great to say...i end up thinking of something i should have said about 2 hours too late...this is funny!!!

Jim and Garret said...


Anonymous said...

Well worth the firing!

Joanie M said...

Um... you do all realize it's just a joke. right?

Jim and Garret said...

Well, I do, otherwise I'd be asking what happened at Fridays. Besides I heard that joke before.


Lilly said...

A classic Joanie.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Look at you with your sense of humor still intact after hell week ; - )

Mary Ellen said...

Thanks for the laugh. I should keep a notebook of these kind of comments. I'm always wishing I would think of something cleverly nasty to say!

Alix said...


PS: An unfortunate sssssssssstory about TGI Friday's wasssssssss all over the net yessssssssssterday. Know the one I mean?

I guess that might kill the discount salad promotion and you will be getting your tips back. I hope.

mo.stoneskin said...

You rock. Totally!

Joanie M said...

Alix, Oh damn! Now we're going to have a meeting this morning. I didn't know anything about it until just now when I read your comment. Someone definitely planted the snake head.

Maybe they should check Mr. Pendleton out. You'd be surprised how often someone will plant bugs and things in their food to get their bill comped.

Maybe he applied for a job and never got it.

Maybe that facility has a waiter with a really sick sense of humor.

They'll figure out who dunnit.

namaste said...

WOW, great come back! so what if it's a joke, it's what we'd have wanted you to say.



Ann's Rants said...

Great joke. I hope we can all collectively keep you laughing.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about John's cancer and all your money stress.

Happy Mother's Day to you. I love how you support your daughters creativity.

Lisa said...

sounds like a night mare !

Joanie said...

wow....all I can say YOU GO GIRL!!!!