Dear So and So: Welcome Home Edition

Dear Self,

So you must think you're a doctor or something.   When your kids caught a cold, you took them to the doctor right away for medication, but when it comes to you, you think you can treat that cold yourself.  And every time, it turns into bronchitis.  Then you end up at the doctor's office and you get weighted down with all kinds of medication that you probably wouldn't have needed had you gone as soon as you felt sick.  It's one hell of a way to get a one week's vacation. You think you'd learn by now.  Sheesh.

Smacking herself in the head,

Joanie

Dear Dr. Z,

Thanks for coming to my rescue again.  And yes, I'll be good and stay on my meds and get my blood sugar under control, and my blood pressure too.  You could help with that BP by lowering your fees by about $100.  Just think about it, da? (she's Russian)

Grateful but broke,

Joanie

Dear Tim,

Welcome home and thank you for knowing how to wash a dish and a pot and where they go when you're finished with them.  Living on your own for 2 years has worked beautifully!!  Now can you teach your sister how to put away her crap?

Thinks this co-habitating just might work out ok,

Mom

Dear Dani,

Welcome home from college!  By the time you get all your crap out of my living room and put away it will be time for you to pack to go back to school.  I have a feeling when your boyfriend comes to visit you'll be getting rid of all the crap because it's obvious that it's all your stuff all over the house.

Didn't miss this side of you this past year,

Mom

Dear Gina,

Welcome home from Ireland!  Weren't you a lucky stiff to be caught there for 3 extra days!!  That ash cloud really worked in your favor!  You got to spend all that extra time with Colleen and her friends. I'm still jealous you got to go to Ireland before I did!

Loves her nice warm socks from Donegal,

Mom 

Dear John's niece, Mary,

Thanks SO SO much for the heads up about prescriptions!  I didn't know if you google the name of your Rx, you might find valuable coupons that can take lots of bucks off your bill!  Thanks to you, my Rx bill went from $87 to $60, which allowed me to pay for all the extra crap Dani bought while waiting at Wal-mart for my Rx to be ready.

Your Uncle John's Significant Other,

Joanie

Dear Maleficent,

You know, I thought I'd be freaked out and really nervous about meeting you at Tim's graduation.  But when I woke that Saturday morning, I was surprisingly calm.  All the way to the school I had no anxiety whatsoever.  When we finally got to the school, I was glad I got to see what you looked like before you saw me.  I realized at that time, that I didn't care any more!  In the end, I won!  One word of advice?  I'd really do something about those terrible bags under your eyes.  It looks like you haven't slept in years.  I remember when I had bags like that.  It was when I found out about you.  Hmmm....

Winner, and still Champion,

Joanie Mack, NOT Poletti

Dear Readers,

Why not pop over the pond to Kat's Place in the UK, grab the button and get some stuff off your chest?  Trust me, it feels good to release it all!  Don't forget to Link your Dear So and So and lots of others will be able to read them too!  Go on!  You know you want to!

Love,

Joanie