Tuesday, April 28, 2009

cats, swine and other things

I'm actually starting to type this on Tuesday, so I'm counting it.

I've decided my 8 month old kitty, Java the Slut is just like a college student. He disappears for days on end (that would be months in human time), and shows up periodically for food and to annoy his 2 older brothers. While he's gone, he's off partying and having unprotected sex with every female cat in the neighborhood. Well, he should enjoy it while he can because as soon as I have the dough, he's getting snip snip!

Is it wrong that I'm secretly smiling that my ex-husband and his future ex-wife are vacationing in Mexico, even AFTER our government warned everyone of the dangers of travelling to that country, the originator the Swine flu?

I've come to the conclusion that I am, indeed a carbohydrate addict. This is not good since I also happen to be a newly diagnosed diabetic. I know I'm supposed to watch my carbs. I start out each day really good.... none or a few carbs. By evening, my cravings are so bad, I can hardly stand it! I'm good about avoiding sugar, but those carbs. Ah, those lovely yummy starchy carbs get me every time!

The saying that it takes 30 days to kill a craving or form a good habit is bullshit!! I could work out every day for 3 months, then have to take a few days off and that good habit is GONE! The same for foods that aren't good for me. I'll stay away from ice cream or crunchy salty carby foods for weeks and weeks. All I need is one good bout of PMS to ruin it for me.

warning! this one might be considered TMI!

And whoever said menopause starts around 50 and Auntie Flo goes away! LIARS!!! All of them! I am 53 years old and I am as regular as a clock! Every 28 days, the 4th Friday of the month, BINGO!! My weekend is completely ruined! I have never been so regular in my life!

Ok, safe to come back, guys.

We servers at TGI Fridays aren't terribly happy with the newest special they are running, although I'm sure all you folks will love it. It seems every sandwich and salad entree is $5 for a limited time. I ran my ass off today. We were busy. It's good to be busy. My sales should have been about $550, but they were $327 because so many folks ordered the $5 meals. And my tips relfected it. Instead of the $100+ in tips I should have gotten, I went home with $61. Of course, it's very possible that we could have been slower and I could have made even less in tips. So I guess I should be happy that I made $61 and not $35. sigh.

My daughter is going to the prom this weekend. She's going solo because no one asked her to go and she refused to ask anyone to go with her. I'll try to post a picture.

Ok, it's officially Wednesday so I'm going to stop now. Good night!

Want to join in the fun? Go on over to see Keely at The Un Mom. She's the creator of Random Tuesday Thoughts. Grab the button, write a bunch of random stuff and link it to her blog! It's that easy! Be sure to read other RTT folks while you're there!


Mary Ellen said...

I bet you're right about Java. Un-snipped males are completely untrustworthy - cats OR humans.

♥ Braja said...

I laughed so much at the name Java the it!!

Lilly said...

I just love you Joanie, truly. You have a career as a comedienne. Something tells me that you would be great fun to go out on the town with. Java the Slut, ha ha ha ha.

Aaron said...

haha way funny poor java but yeah maybe some truth there and thats coming from a man!

Alix said...

What a funny post, Joanie. You nailed the parallel betwee Java The Slut (I get the Star Wars pun) and college men. Then it just keeps getting better and funnier.

Maybe your ex and his next ex will have to be quarrantined when they come back to the states. That could be a bit of fun for you.

I know every second without a carb feels like the hands of time are crawling, but you will feel relief from the cravings as soon as you stop giving in to them. You know, it's just the rise and fall in blood sugar. I'm not eating a lot of carbs right now and never felt better. I only eat carbs that are packed with fiber: sweet potatoes, beans, greens, avocados, etc. Try that and see if it helps with cravings.

I laughed out loud about your red zone comment. I can relate, but the ruined weekends aren't so much fun.

Keep up the great blog work.

Jim and Garret said...

Ah, it's never TMI. Sorry about the slutty kitty stress. Sorry about the $5 Fridays special!


The Retired One said...

I give you so much credit for trying to stop carbs. I am a be-atch if I don't have them over a 2 day period. Not a lot, but MUST have them!!

The Retirement Chronicles

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Java the slut is the greatest kitty name ever!

Poor Java has nooo idea what's about to happen to him....

mo.stoneskin said...

Hmm, they sure picked the wrong time to go to Mexico.

If I were you I'd confiscate your kitten's passport just in case it chose to go to Mexico too.

Anonymous said...

Randomly good thoughts, Joanie.

Only you would have slutty pussy. :)

Keely said...

Java the Slut, hehe.

My Mom was unimpressed when menopause didn't show up promptly at 50, too. She said it was more like 60 for her.

Sorry, that probably wasn't helpful.

I used to hate hate HATE deals like that when I was a server!!

Kat said...

In the TMI department my mom started perimenopause early and is all hot flashy and night sweaty, so count your blessings.

GreenJello said...

For the carb cravings, make sure you eat protein for every meal, and snacks. And then add a lot more whole grains to your diet-- steel cut oats are fantastic. Jump by my blog and look for my recipe I posted earlier this month.

As a fellow carb addict, I totally GET it. This is what has helped me!

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