Did I ever tell you that, when I caught my husband cheating, I started to clean the toilet with his tooth brush... every day? Did my heart good to keep that toilet so nice and clean. I even continued after he left because he came to see the kids every other weekend and slept on my sofa (he was SUPPOSEDLY living with his brother at the time...liar). But the toilet was clean! And everything had to be clean all the time!
My daughter told me not too long ago that she wasn't really very surprised when we got divorced. She said she was surprised it didn't happen sooner, because I was so miserable with him. ME? Unhappy? I didn't know I was unhappy or miserable! Then, I got to thinking about things over the years. Things he did and said that really pissed me off. I know, I know. You all think I'm terrible.
Like when we first got married and decided we were going to wait for a year before starting a family. When we were married for 10 months we bought our first house. Right about that time, we were at a company picnic (for the company he worked for). I heard him tell someone we were going to wait another year before trying to have a baby. Well, I saw RED! This was never discussed between us and I was always so afraid of confrontation that I never said anything. But when I got home, I threw away the spermicide I was using and punched about a dozen holes in my diaphram with a pin. I removed the diaphram right after having sex (it was easy.. he fell asleep about 2 minutes later anyway). I did everything I could to get pregnant, but damn it if I never got pregnant until he FINALLY decided it was time to start THINKING about having a baby (If I waited for him to ready, we'd never had any kids). First time I didn't use the diaphram, I got knocked up. Yup. That bastard had luck on his side all the time.
I really shouldn't be telling you this stuff because some of this is gross... like the next story. I can't remember what he did, but I was sick and he did or said something to piss me off. I had strep throat. I put some strep right in his cup of tea, stirred it up and with a smile on my face, handed him the cup. Did he get strep? NO!
I don't think I did anything else to him over the years though. Except maybe pay the mortgage late on purpose for a few months to damage his credit a little because the mortgage was in his name only (I refused to be put on it after we re-financed after we split up). And if he should happen to croak before we sell the house, I'll stop paying it altogether because then it will be the bitch's repsonsibility. (it'll never happen because only the good die young.. Billy Joel is right)
I did tell John about these things I did. I'd never do anything like that to him. He treats me like a queen. :)