Saturday, April 18, 2009

Java, the Gigolo

So, my 7 month old kitten, Java has been missing for 6 days. I was convinced he had been run over by a car, because, well, as nice and friendly as he is, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He jumped on the hood of my car as my daughter was backing out of the driveway. She stopped quickly, thinking he'd hop off. Uh, nope! I had to go out and get him off the car and carry him into the house. Stupid cat.

So, Java had been missing and I was really worried. Every time I went near the door, I'd call for him, over and over. Yesterday, Dani's friend, Jon was walking down the street and I asked him if he'd seen Java. "Oh yeah! He's been hanging around my house.". So I asked Jon if he sees him to bring him home and just toss him in the front door. But in the meantime, I took a walk up the street. I only walk a short way, and there he is! Stalking another cat! "Java! Where have you been?" Java trots right up to me and then tries to scoot past me but I'm too quick for him and I pick him up. And that ungrateful brat scratched and bit me all the way home!

We get in the house and he's wandering around. I often will hold their tails and let it run through my hand. I don't pull or anything and the cats never seem to mind.... until yesterday. Java tried to bite me when I did it! I thought perhaps someone had hurt him, to I turn him over and move his tail and he's pissed!!! Then I see it. His teeny little red penis sticking out! No wonder he scratched and bit me all the way home! He was just about to try to get laid and I brought him home! Hell, I'd be pissed too!

I spent some time in the "office" where my computer is, and when I went into the family room, I smelled it right away.... cat pee. GRRR!!!!!!! Java peed on something and I had to find it. And I did. He peed on the french door window! I got Java and threw him back outside! Thirty minutes later, here comes Jon's brother, Chris, with Java in his car, bringing him home again! So I let him go again and told Chris not to worry. He'll come home when he's good and ready.

Apparently Jon and Chris have a female cat that never goes out but I guess Java can smell her. Java came in this morning with my other black cat, Mason, so I don't worry too much about him any more.

A little while ago, I checked in my daughter's room to see if she was home because her car wasn't outside (she left it at school overnight.... their musical is this weekend, but that's a post for another day). As soon as I opened her door, I smelled cat pee again. But that's Dani's problem. If she didn't hang up all her clothes on the floor, he would have anything to pee on.

I do believe that Java is going to have an appointment with the friendly neighborhood vet to get snipped. I don't like having him piss on everything to mark his territory and stick it to the other 2 cats who are already neutered. That's just mean.


Jim and Garret said...

Get him fixed anyways. Remember Bob Barker's lines. Help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered.


Sally's World said...

we got our cat 'done' i know i wouldn't be able to take the spraying thing....and my son...bless thought our cat would have to help raise the kittens, he didn't quite get it, it was a very cute conversation...i think he had visions of us paying allimony!!!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love a male cat with no balls. Best pet.

Lilly said...

Laughing a Sallys comment. Oh gosh sounds like Java is having some fun. Yep I would get him fixed too as soon as you can..

Liz said...

Kitten alimony- that's hilarious!

Crazy kitten... definitely needs a meeting with the snip snip man!

Alix said...

Ahhhh, the delights of a cat urine soaked house. Why do we even like cats, again?

I have had many cats over the years and currently have two. They are indoor cats and behave themselves pretty well. But many years back I had a seal point Siamese named Gladys who disappeared like Java did. I was frantic, fearing the worst. Then, one day (weeks after she went missing) I noticed her in a neighbor's yard and when I went to grab her, she scooted under their garage door that had been raised about six inches from the ground. That slut had taken up residence with my neighbor's male cat. And they either didn't notice or didn't seem to mind. Strange.

Gladys continued to live at the neighbor's until she got sick and crawled home one day. We took her to the vet and she had to be euthanized. Weird how she came home to die, right? I should have sent the bill to the neighbor's.


a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

patty boy.

the bain of my existance. i had him de-balled and de-clawed.

he laughed in my face.

and i think, is still having sex and ripping up my sofa.


Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I tagged you with a meme at my blog...

Anonymous said...