Friday, April 24, 2009

My AHA moment

I received an email from my cousin, Michelle today. The first part of it , which I will have below, is what has absolutely hit me right between the eyes.

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Four+ years ago, when I discovered my husband was cheating and planned to leave me for this much younger woman, I was completely devestated. I prayed and prayed to God to help me to save my marriage. Of course, my marriage was to end. Greg had no interest in staying with me. And I was very very angry with God, because I couldn't understand why he would allow a marriage, that was blessed in His Church, to fail. I was so angry that I haven't been back to church since.

I've been told that God answers all prayers, but sometimes the answer is no. I didn't understand that saying but I thought okay, maybe someday I'll understand why He allowed that to happen.

Then today, I got the email from Michelle, and those simple words hit me right between the eyes! When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. WOW!!

NOW I GET IT!!! He allowed Greg to leave so I could meet John, who treats me with more love and respect that anyone ever has! You have no idea the profound effect this has had on me!

I might... I said MIGHT, be almost at the point where I can forgive Greg for this. I'm still a bit angry that I have to struggle to make ends meet, and he gets to take vacations every year to places like Mexico and go golfing several times a week and buy a new car every few years. I'm working on that. Jealousy and resentment are not good things to feel, and I'm trying get rid of them, but it ain't easy.

Now if I can just win the Lottery...


darsden said...

Good for you for finding piece of mind with Greg... I know it makes you feel a lot better to have the loose ends closing up :-)

Liz said...


Have you read "The Shack?" Definitely worth the read.

Lilly said...

That is a lovely post Joanie. That quote is a good one I need right now too. I think you can forgive the person not necessarily the actions. I am glad you found John and things can only get better. You never know whats in store sometimes. I guess we always have to think big picture which is hard to do when you are going through something so devastating. You are a great writer though - maybe try your hand at something different. Thanks for sharing this.

Amy said...

Joanie -- I'm a little freaked out right now b/c my husband told me that SAME QUOTE last night and then tweeted it this morning. Cue the music, doo doo doo doo...

Jim and Garret said...

I notice Liz comments on blogs with reading suggestions. She doesn't do it on mine because she knows I'm illiterate.


Smooches to Liz.

Alix said...

Lovely post, not only because you have friends in your support system that send you valuable and uplifting goodies, but because you recognize them and pass them on.

I love the quote and agree with it one zillion percent.

And as for your healing, you've dealt with and metabolized a lot in four years. I think you're right on track. Forgiving Greg will be your biggest emancipation once you get there (and you WILL get there). Heck, you're most of the way there already.

Hugs Joanie.

Sally's World said...

this is such a great post, i love this quote, i think that so many people could be happier in believing this...although i don't think it can be true in every case, i think in the majority of lifes losses, it is absolutely true.

thank you...

Anonymous said...

You've grown so much as a person and your ex is probably still in the same place.

Keep at it, you're almost there. :)

Joanie M said...

Amy, How are things? I can't find your email address.

♥ Braja said...

See? It works! I love it.

It's like the "sharp left turn" story Suzy Soro told me and Vodka Mom, which i mentioned yesterday and which she ended up telling on her blog also. We just don't see things the way God does...we're a little contaminated in our when we finally see things His way, damn it if it ain't goooood....:)xx

jennygirltherat said...

A great aha! moment. I'm posting that on the corkboard next to my desk.
My dad told me the "sometimes the answer is no" thing, and its true, and we need to hear it, but this is far more encouraging.
To give him credit, he also told me "Sometimes the answer is yes, and we're too stupid to realize it."
I love my dad.
Thanks for the quote. Thanks to Michelle, too.

ManVent said...

Very helpful post! Thanks for sharing!