Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dear So and So...

Dear (and I use that term loosely) Ex-husband,
Why in the world would you send me a text message at 7:30 am to tell me you're taking our kid to Seattle with you at the end of July? It couldn't wait until a more decent hour? Since you left, I really don't have to get up at the crack of dawn like I did for 20-some years. Don't be surprised if you get a call or text after 11 one night, when I'm wide awake and you're sleeping. Paybacks are a bitch and you will recognize it when it happens.

Your Ex-wife

Dear Creditors,
You may as well stop calling me. If I don't recognize the phone number, I'm not answering my phone. Besides I'm not allowed to talk on my phone while I'm working. When I have the money, you'll get some of it. In the meantime, knock it off!

Empty Pockets


Dear Boy Who Mows My Lawn,
If you don't stop by my house when you see my car in the driveway, you won't get paid. By the way, my lawn needs mowing again.


Your neighbor down the street with the overgrown lawn


Dear People who live in Apartment C6 at John's place,
Is it really necessary to stomp around at midnight every night? I know you're a teacher.... you should know about using your Indoor Voices, especially late at night.
And WTF is up with your dog?? Is he pushing a bowling ball around the apartment? It's a damn good thing I have ear plugs to wear!


the sleepy visitor downstairs


Dear Son,
When are you going to pay those 2 parking tickets you got while at school? The last time you got one and didn't pay it, the cops threatened to arrest my ass because the damned car is my MY name! I love you but I'm not going to jail for you OR pay your parking tickets!



Dear Kat,
This was fun! I'm glad I decided to join in!

Signed, Joanie


If anyone wants to Join in Dear So and So, it's a great way to get crap off your chest! And we do it on Fridays! Stop by Kat's place across the pond and see what it's all about!


Captain Dumbass said...

I love Kat's Dear So & So. I never answer numbers I don't recognize or who block their names either. If it's really that important they can leave a message. Or send a letter.

Amy said...

What a great idea. I might have to join in as well.

Pastor Sharon said...

. . . . and Dear God, please watch over Joanie and John while they go through this moment in life!

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

What a great funny way to do some venting!
I used to wonder what people were doing to make such weird noses at odd hours when I lived in an apartment.
What's up with that?

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Love your list. But I see nothing wrong with early morning texting!!

Hallie :)

Jan said...

If I were to write a "Dear So and So" letter to my ex, it wouldn't be NEARLY as nice as yours.

Jim and Garret said...

Awesome idea! Most of yours were hilarious.

Mary Ellen said...

This is a terrific idea. I really liked it.!

Daria said...

What a cool idea ... I bet it's fun writing those letters too.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Love it! (And echoing Pastor Sharon's dear letter as well..) :-)

Alix said...

Love your so and so's. I want to do this too, but I'm not irritated at anything right now. Isn't that the way it always goes? I guess I could make some funny stuff up.....

..... but that would be cheating.

Queen Bee said...

The creditors have been calling me for so long I know which unknown numbers are them! Is that sad? Probably...

This is good. I may have to join in.

Ice Queen said...

My almost disowned me once for going through the ezpass lane without authorization one too many times. It wasn't pretty.

Vodka Mom said...

Dear Joanie-

thinking of you....... hope all is well.

loved the post. p.s.

♥ Braja said...

Joanie, turned your damn phone off before you go to bed :)))))))))))))

lisa said...

I know you feel better after all that.

Hope you're taking care of yourself and hope John is feeling better.