PARASAILING WAS FUN!!!

I WONDER WHAT'S NEXT? ZIP LINING MAYBE???



Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Kids say the damnedest things!

Children writing about the ocean:

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson.She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.(Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom (James, age 7)

17 comments:

Comedy Goddess said...

OMG all of them are hilarious! What a hoot!

♥ Braja said...

They should be in a movie.....

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Love the dolphin asshole!!

Hallie :)

Joanie M said...

These were too too funny to pass up! I HAD to share them!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Those are awesome!!!

Alix said...

Where do you dig this stuff Joanie up? Did Vodka Mom give these to you? I love the innocent faux pas... they're just adorable.

Pearl said...

Makes me want to have another kid...

:-)

Pearl

mo.stoneskin said...

There are many brilliant ones but

"This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles."

is exceptional!

Rachel Cotterill said...

Kids are great! I'm now a bit worried about survival of mer-kind, though...

Sally's World said...

OMG too funny, love them all, gotta show the kids these!

Kat said...

"15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom (James, age 7)" *giggle snort*

Kat said...

"15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom (James, age 7)" *giggle snort*

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

Like, really, Helen (#8) how DO mermaids get pregnant?
Maybe she should ask Amy (#9) how her sister did it?

Soo funny; thanks!

Captain Dumbass said...

It's like they do all the work for you. They just open their little mouths and a blog post pops out.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

# 6 is my favorite...

Joanie M said...

So true, Cap'n, so true.

Lisa said...

i am so in love with this list- will put a link to it on my next blog post