Monday, June 1, 2009

Spin cycle: Saying I Love You: Panic!!!!!

For this weeks Spin Cycle, the request went out for I Love You stories. If you want to know about spinning, go check out Jen at Sprite's Keeper...

I actually have 2 stories about I love you.

This first story is how my ex-husband let me know how he felt.

We were dating for a bout a year. I knew that I was falling in love with Greg after a few months. I remember telling my friends, Margie and Cathy how I felt. But I was afraid to tell Greg. I needed him to take the lead, I guess.

Valentine's Day was 3 days shy of our first anniversary of dating. I can't remember if Greg gave me a gift, but he gave me a card for Valentine's Day. We were to meet Margie and Jim at this bar where we often hung out. We're in the car and Greg hands me this card. "Happy Valentine's Day To The One I Love" and inside a really mushy poem. I nearly passed out! My mind is going a mile a minute. Did he read this card before he bought it???? Did he mean what it said??? Dummy me says, Oh this is very nice! Thanks!

We go inside the bar and I grab Margie and make her go to the ladies' room with me. I show her the card. What does it mean? Should I say something? He never said a word!
In my panic, I say nothing.

For two weeks I can't get the stupid card out of my mind. Finally, one night, I ask him, "that Valentine card you gave me... did you read it before you bought it? (yes) did you mean it? (yes)" Then the waterworks started and I told him that I loved him too.

This should have been a sign of things to come. Greg was never good at vocalizing his feelings. If I told him that I loved him, he'd tell me in return. But he rarely ever told me first.

Finally, after a few years of marriage, I stopped telling him and I never heard him say it again until after he moved out and was supposedly living with his brother (he had already moved in with the slut but lied about it) He'd tell me on the phone that he loved me. And he wondered why I was such a mess when we split for good.

He never told the kids he loved them either until now. My older daughter says too little, too late. It doesn't sound sincere to her.

Anyway, I decided if I ever had the chance to find love again, I'd make sure that person would know it, in no uncertain terms.

So, with that being said, on to Part 2!

To say that John fell for me fast and hard is an understatement. I'm not bragging, just stating the facts, ma'am.

Like I said, right down there, a few blog entries below this one, the one about dating, John and I had a really good first date. Dinner, movie, smooching on the sofa while not watching V For Vendetta, talking until 4 am. It was a good date.

Somewhere near the end of that first date, John said something to the effect of "I knew I really liked you, but I had no idea I was going to fall in love." WHAT???????? In an absolute panic, I pushed him away and in what probably sounded like a growl said (I hope I didn't shout) "DON'T SAY THAT!!!"

John doesn't remember saying it that first night. He thought it was several weeks later. After all, he was separated only a few months. I thought he was on the rebound and was mistaking lust for love. (c'mon! you all know lust comes first!) He very nearly didn't get a second date, and for a few months, I thought of breaking up with him. (he doesn't know this) But something kept drawing me to him. I couldn't help myself.

He tried to keep his feelings for me to himself, but he was really lousy at it! Every time, he'd say, "I know you don't want to hear this, but I have to tell you. I really do love you." And I'd smile and change the subject.

This went on for several months. Finally, one time, John said to me, "You know, I know you haven't said that you love me, but your actions are speaking much louder than your words. It's ok, you don't have to say it because I KNOW you love me." Then I caved. "You're right. I love you."

And he tells me every single day that he loves me. As a matter of fact, I've probably heard John say I love you more times in 3 years than my husband told me in 27 years.
And he doesn't wait for me to say it first either.


mo.stoneskin said...

Lovely story (part 2) - thanks for sharing. So the debate is still raging whether or not said he was falling in love with you on that first date?!

Jim and Garret said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. True love... finally, eh?


musingwoman said...

Those three little words say a lot, don't they?

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

le sigh...amore.......xoxox

Jan said...

Lovely post! It's very similar to what mine is going to be, yet different - it also includes my ex and present husbands and how often I was/am told "I love you." Well, you'll see Wednesday.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I've never met a John I didn't like! My John tells me all the time, in fact sometimes, I need to kick myself since I don't initiate it as often as he does.
Great Spin! You're linked!

Joanie M said...

Mo, no more debate. We're both convinced now.

Garret, yeah, it sure feels like it!

Musingwoman, it's amazing how powerful those 3 little words are!

Heather, you know, for me, it's just about the best feeling in the world.

Jan, I can't wait to read yours!

Jen, well, I sure hope I never get tried of hearing it. I very much doubt I will get tired of it.

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

It is amazing how important it can be to not just know, but HEAR those 3 little words!
I'm going to do one of these this week too.Loved this!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. I loved reading it and am so glad you shared!

Joanie M said...

I'm glad, Maureen! I can't wait to read it.

Thank you, nothingfancy.

Camille said...

So romantic! I'm glad you found someone better than the first to make you happy!

Mama Badger said...

Sniff, such a good story. Though, my first husband said it all the time and didn't mean a word of it. Goes all sorts of ways, I guess. Glad you're happy now!

Rachel Cotterill said...

I have a similar 2-part relationship history :)

iambellaluna said...

Aw! Thanks for sharing. It's so interesting how hearing "I love you" makes all the difference. Even if actions do speak louder than words.