Thursday, April 29, 2010

Dear So and So

Dear Mother Nature,
I hate your guts.  75 days.  You make an appearance after 75 days!  It explains the 2 day headache earlier this week.


Dear Shabby Blogs Creator,
I love my new blog look!  And you made it so easy to do!  I'm thrilled!


Dear 1997 Chevy Blazer,
Thanks so much for only needing transmission fluid and not a whole new transmission!  You saved me a trip to Indiana, PA the day before my son graduates in East Stroudsburg.  And my daughter was happy to have wheels again for her last few weeks of school.  You'll be retired in a month or so.  Hang in there!!

Hoping she never has to drive that truck ever again,

Dear Metabolism,
I'm not too happy that you decided to retire about 10 years ago.  I could use you right now.  I wish you'd switch places with Diabetes and hang out with me for a while. 


I love love love you!!!  Billy Mays (may he rest in peace) was right!  You work like a charm, especially when I listen to my audio books in the car.  Well worth the $10 I spent for you, unlike the piece of crap I spent $30+ for and it never worked.

Enjoying her books on long drives,

Dear New Bed Frame,
I really like that I now have my mattresses off the floor and I have a real bed again.  Just don't break, ok?

Giggles every time it happens,

Dear Maleficent,
So you want to go to my son's graduation.  I guess your future ex-husband didn't tell you that I demanded that you never show your face at any of MY family functions.  I did promise to behave myself, but I hope you're so nervous that day that you need to stop at every rest stop on the way.  You and your abnormally fat ass just needs to stay out of my way and you might be okay.  Remember this.... it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind.  Be careful you don't trip.


Dear Readers,
Why not pop over the pond to Kat's Place in the UK, grab the button and get some stuff off your chest?  Trust me, it feels good to release it all!  Don't forget to Link your Dear So and So and lots of others will be able to read them too!  Go on!  You know you want to!


Heather said...

Mother Nature can be very cruel somtimes!

Loving your new look too!

I think my Metabolism ran away!

What is up with the ex's soon to be ex wanting to go to the graduation? Has she got a death wish or what? That just seems a little weird.

slommler said...

75 days and then visited? That is just cruel!!
Your new look is fabulous. Love the color!!
It was good news when all the Blazer needed was Transmission fluid. Whew!
And metabolism? What is that!? Mine disappeared years it has to be old fashioned sweat.
So Jupiter Jack really works?? Hmmm!
Be more mindful of your new bed frame now, won't you?
I can't believe she is coming to the graduation!! That is ballsy!!

Alix said...

THERE SHE IS!!!!! Maleficent and her Abnormally Fat Ass! Oh I do love when you blog about her, Joanie. I'd like to think you put her in there just for me.

And yes indeed,Maleficent, watch your step!

Alix said...

Oh yeah... love your new blog makeover too! Very tasteful!

Anonymous said...

These So & So's are all very well deserved. But I think you mean, don't trip accidently on purpose over my foot.

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

Yay! I love Dear So and So's especially about that woman's abnormally big ass.

Amanda said...

LOL...sounds like someone needs to mind her P's and Q's. I hope she spends the day quaking in her shoes. ;)

(Hello, btw! Popping over from Kat's.)

linlah said...

Momma Nature messed with me like that for 3 years, thankfully she moved and lost my address.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, she has been Served! You'll have to let us know what happens.

bernthis said...

Your ex's skank has the same ass as my ex's. Since he has been with her he's put on 20 pounds. Now they are a nice pair.

She has yet to come to any of my kid's functions. My ex's parents come and each time they are very out of place. Good.

lisleman said...

interesting idea - writing to the many objects and parts of our bodies.

Metabolism, bed frame, a chevy, and this Maleficent all in one post.

I do wish metabolism could read notes.