Thursday, November 12, 2009

AARP... at it's best

Questions and Answers From AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
 A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible.  Is that true? Where can it be  found? 
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:  "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to  Egypt ."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly: wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with  short term memory storage?  
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter  antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"


Matty said...

Only us old fogies will appreciate this humor.

linlah said...

Love the one about crow's feet. I might give that a try.

Irish Gumbo said...

Ha! That one about Mary and Joseph made me snort. Funny!

Ice Queen said...

Mary riding Josephs ass is an instant classic!

The Retired One said...

Isn't that the truth!!
Loved the riding his ass one...hilarious!!!!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

you're too funny, girlfriend!

Joanne said...

Hilarious - I have so much to look forward to - in the very very distant *cough* future.

Daria said...

Too funny ... they are great.