Thursday, November 5, 2009

Dear So and So....

Dear Asshole Who Stole My Identity,
Why in God's name did you think you were going to get away with trying to use my credit card again??   Not only did you attempt to use it, but you attempted about 6 times!  What an ass!  Of course we changed account numbers within hours of your initial larceny.  I hope they find your ass and toss it in jail for a long, long time.

Still pissed,


Dear Bratface,
Tonight is your opening night of your very first college play!  I'm so proud of you, even if you ARE playing a dead slut!  I can't wait to see you and the play next Saturday!  Break a leg!!!



Dear Phillies,
Thanks for a great season and even greater post-season!  We really enjoyed the games.  Too bad you weren't able to win the World Series 2 years running, BUT you did make it to the World Series 2 years running and not too many teams can make that claim!  Good luck next season!

A fan,


Dear Yankees,
You lucked out.

A Phillies fan,


Dear Captain Morgan,
Thanks for the buzz!!!!



Dear Halloween Candy,
I'm so glad you're finally gone from my house!  Of course, I ate every single piece of you, but you're gone.  Next year, either I make sure I'm not home on Halloween, or I buy really crappy candy that I hate. 

Stuffed and bloated (urp!)


Dear Bathroom Scale,
Get the hell out of my face!  No way in hell am I stepping on your for at least a few weeks!



Dear Readers,

If you enjoy these Dear So and So's on Fridays, try your own hand at one!  Pop on over to Kat's place, grab her button and put it on your blog!  Put your name on Mr. Linky and you'll be linked right up!  C'mon!  You know you want to!


Matty said...

Go Phillies! Next year!!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Better luck next year.

I love these posts. I crack up reading the whole thing.


Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Love the post! And good luck to your daughter on her first college play!

Alix said...

Dear Halloween Candy! LOL

You know it's bad when you have to write a hate letter to sugar. But I soooo know the feeling!

Hang in there Joanie girl! I love you!


Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Dear Joanie,
You are so funny! I love reading these. Great way to start the day with a smile (before an icky dentist appt...)!

Joy said...

Those are some seriously funny LOLs! I do want to participate next week!

Stopping by from SITS roll call :o)

Joanne said...

You do such great Dear So & So's love seeing them. Nod of the head to all of them -- can we both send our scales to the corn field???

linlah said...

I wish I had known the last kids were the last kids. I would have dumped my bowl in their bags.

The Retired One said...

Dear Joanie,
Everytime you do one of these posts, you make me wet my pants.
Please tell me it is because you are so damn funny and not that I am getting old.

Scared and laughing,
The Retired One

P.S. I gotta start doing this too!

Daria said...

Love it ... you are too funny.