Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday: The Sleepover Party

Tova Darling has a funny feature that she does on Tuesdays called Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesday. She invites you to participate by telling a story about an awkward event in your life or of someone around you.  

**note: apparently, Tova hasn't done TTAT in a while, but the story is still awkward and funny.  It'll be even more awkward if his kids read this but I'm fairly sure I successfully blocked them from seeing this via networked blogs (I hope, I hope)

Today I have a totally awkward story to tell.  This story popped into my head when Laura at Under The Sheets~shhh wrote a blog post about Sleepover parties and invites readers to tell of their own sleepover party memories.  I thought, "Oh Lord!  Sleepovers were about 40 years ago!  I'll never come up with a story for this!"  Then I remembered ....

It was about 13 or 14 years ago.  I was married at the time, as was my sister-in-law (we got over that).  My husband, his brother, and 2 of our neighbors were taking a trip to SC for a golf weekend.  I was a stay-at-home-mom, as was my sister-in-law.  We decided to have a sleepover weekend with the kids.  SIL has 2 kids who were about 6.  They were born right smack in between 2 of my kids.  Tim was 8 and Danielle was 5.  Gina was about 12.  She invited her friend, Shelby over for the weekend.  So we all had someone to hang out with!

Lots of Disney movies, soda, snacks, pizza for the kids.  Beer and wine coolers for me and my SIL.  The kids are all nestled in their jammies, watching movies and SIL and I are in the kitchen, talking, drinking, slowly getting hammered.

SIL has just enough beer in her that she starts telling me stuff she'd never say sober.  She tells me that she thinks her hubby is up to something.  He won't give her the password to his AOL account and she can't get online(this was before everyone had their own accounts)   She tells me she has tried every combination of words and dates to try to get online to see what her hubby was up to.

So I ask her what his screen name is.  She tells me.  Oh yeah!  By his screeen name, I can tell that he's up to something alright! 

So I tell my SIL, his password has to be something easy, something he'll remember.  Now I'll be good here and not give his password or what his job was because there are some folks who just might know him! (note to self:  delete this entry on facebook as soon as it shows up.... those twins are my facebook friends!)  

Now remember, I've been drinking for a couple of hours and I'm feeling no pain at this point.  I try one word in his place of employment... nada.  I try the second word in his place of employment... WELCOME!!  Oh shit!!!!  We're in!  I swear, I never sobered up so fast in all my life!!!

We found out he was hanging out in a chat room, coming on to all the females in the place!  We also read his email (I know, I know ... it was wrong, but...)  We found out he was emailing this chick named Dee who lived in the next town and they were having a cyber affair!  They talked dirty to each other every day! Then, Brother-in-law started asking her if she would meet him in person (oh, did I fail to mention we checked his mail for 6 months and the man had no idea???  my ex-in-laws are not as sharp as I used to think)  Dee was NOT agreeable to that!  She said she was happily married and wasn't willing to risk it.

At some point in the summer, my SIL and her family were camping and BIL got pissy about something SIL was doing or not doing.  So she asked him why didn't he see if DEE wanted to do that?  He nearly shit a brick!  He tried turning the whole thing around on SIL, telling her it was all her fault and he needed to go elsewhere for "affection".  What an ass!  They eventually got divorced (surprise!!! he was cheating!)

And the way I knew he was coming on to all the women in the room?  For fun, I used to change my screen name to a variation of my name (Siobhan (gaelic), Giovanna (italian), Johanna (german), Jeanne (french).  Within a minute or so, he would message me, and try to get me to talk dirty to him.  I never played along (I'm not real good at that stuff.... I'm a good girl, I am!)

I'd love to tell that ass that I knew about his affair with Dee and how he came on to me so many times!


Alix said...

Take your victory lap, Joanie. Wave your flag!

I've done the anonymous screen name thing before, but it was oddly very unsatisfying. When you know the truth - even if you only suspect - you're usually right. Proving it only drives the dagger deeper.

But I love the support you gave your sister in law and I love you "got in." How clever are you?

I have had two "sleep over" experiences that would curl your teeth. Blog post worthy? Could make some enemies.... just my style!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Wow, one hellava memorable sleepover!