From a teacher...
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden,
and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, the answer was 'NO!' By now I was starting to smile.
'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?
Again, they all answered 'NO!'. I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?'
A six year-old boy shouted out: " YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD...."
"It's a curious race, the Irish."