Thursday, November 12, 2009

Dear So and So

Dear Nor'easter,
Please be so kind as to stay on the coast, as I am driving to Indiana, Pennsylvania on Saturday morning to see my kid in her first college play.  The trip is long enough without having to add torrential rains to the mix. And while we're at it.... lay off the snow  while I'm driving though the mountains. 



Dear Bratface,
Break a leg as we see you perform in your first college play!  I'm so proud of you!   But you don't have to be THAT good at your role, because... um.... well... you'll be playing a slut and you'll be dead.

Love you!


Dear Ex-husband,
Grudgingly, thanks for getting us the hotel room for free when we go see Dani in her play.  I don't even care that the hotel is an hour from the college.. it's FREE!!   I do feel special though, because Dani won't let you see the play but she's letting me!  

Your Ex


Dear Hospital that didn't do the transplant,
Why won't you use the catheter that John has in his chest to inject the radioactive stuff do the PET scan?  It's so much easier than trying to use his veins which don't cooperate.  Even I know how to use the catheter and I'm not a nurse!  If they can draw blood, harvest stem cells, do chemotherapy, and infuse stem cells with it, you can use it for the stupid PET scan!  Bunch of wimps.  Now he has to drive all the way into the city to get it and lose another day's pay.

"Mrs. Russo"


Dear CSI, CSI Miami and CSI New York,
Good job on the trilogy this week!  I like how you merged all 3 shows into one storyline!  What I'm NOT happy about is getting rid of Adam Rodriguez who played Eric Delko on CSI Miami.  That dude is HOT!!  You do get points for Eddie Cibrian though.



Dear VodkaMom,
Thanks so much for the Vampire's Assistant stuff!!  I gave the backpack to my boss's 9 year old son who loved it!  My kid will certainly get use of the petite tee shirt.  I'll get to the book when I get though the 50 books I have in my armoir, waiting to be read.  The $50 gift card, however I kept for ME!!!   John and I go to the movies often and will get to enjoy at least 2 movies (maybe more if they think we're senior citizens) .



Dear Police,
Thanks for finding the bitch whole stole my credit card numbers and used it to empty my checking account.  I'm glad she's in jail and I'm also glad you'll be shipping her off to Michigan to face even more charges there!

Server who's identity was stolen


Dear Bitch who stole my credit card,
I hope you rot.



Dear Readers,
If you enjoy these Dear So and So's on Fridays, try your own hand at one!  Pop on over to Kat's place, grab her button and put it on your blog!  Put your name on Mr. Linky and you'll be linked right up!  C'mon!  You know you want to!


Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I'm so thrilled you won the vampire stuff from Vodka Mom! Congrats Joanie ; -)

Will be thinking good weather thoughts for you while you drive this weekend. Very exciting Dani's first college play. sluts are good.

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Have fun at your daughters play - may she play a slut perfectly, but get it out of her system with the play :)

Congrats on the vampire pack from vodkamom!

Shaunells Hair said...

That was funny. Thanks. Glad they found that credit card beotch. :)

Kat said...

I hope that bitch rots too! I hate thieves!

Alix said...

Oh, she'll rot alright. Yay for justice and the American way!

Great So and So's Joanie. You rule the world with them.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I love this Dear So & So' so ROCK with these!

linlah said...

I hope you get the good weather too and have a safe and fun trip.

Captain Dumbass said...

Zombie slut?

Joanie M said...

Zombie slut? Not sure, Cap'n. I'll let you know Sunday night when I get home.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I love when I know the people that win; it makes me feel popular (which is SOO important to me)!
Have fun at your daughter's play. I hope she breaks both legs!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Great Dear So and So! I hope you are having an awesome weekend away with John and that Dani plays an excellent slut (while actually coming off as somewhat chaste ;).