Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he re-focused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he re-focused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear!'
psst! I have a friend who blogs here... her name is Vodka mom. It's also the name of her blog. Her blog is one of the funniest I've ever read! Anyway, she was nominated for the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers. It would be really cool if you could check her out, read some of her stuff and go over to Babble and vote for her! Last time I checked she was ranked #6! Simply click here to go to the site. Check out her blog! You won't be sorry!!
And Heather gave me an award! Look! It's right below this blog post!
And Heather gave me an award! Look! It's right below this blog post!
13 comments:
The older alien is very wise.
It wasn't Vodka mom that told you that joke was it?!
lol. that is why i am on the earth protection unit...
Cute joke! :-) Visiting from SITS!
Funny joke! Stopping by from SITS! Have a wonderful day and thanks for the chuckle!
LOL! older means wiser in any species.
Suprise ending thanks for the laugh.
thanks for the smile.
I was sure it was going to be about the price of gas.
so now every time you pump your gas you'll be looking at that pump handle differently.
yes, Lisleman, I will certainly chuckle a bit when I get gas again in a few days.
Mo, Nope! got it from John's sister-in-law!
I can't quite reach my ear... lol
Bwah ha ha! And I already voted.
Chad, you can vote every day!
Otin, I want a picture of that!
Yes, but on the other hand.... who better to mess with? LOL.
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