Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Gift FAIL!!!

I saw something on Facebook about what NOT to give as Christmas gifts.  It got me thinking about a few of the FAILS I'd received from my then-husband over the years.  The bad thing was, I had to pretend to really like any gifts I received.  And unless it was the wrong size, I didn't dare return it!  He would just get SO pissy!!!

There was the nightshirt I had gotten that had teddy bears all over it and teddy bear pockets.  It was like a big sweat shirt. This wouldn't be so bad but I hate cutesy pajamas with doggies and kitties and teddy bears on them.  Same goes for sweat shirts.   I still  have the nightshirt.  I wear it on really cold nights.  I can't wear it to bed because I'd probably want to kill someone by morning because I'd sweat so much, but it's great for watching TV on cold evenings.

Here it is!  This is not something I would ever buy for myself.  And NO!  I will not model it for you!

Over the years, I'd get a series of Christmas sweatshirts that always had cutesy stuff on them.  I don't have them any more.  

I did get a washer and dryer for Christmas the first year we were married, but I was going to the laundromat every week, so I liked that gift.

I got a dining table and chair set the year we moved into our first house.  We were going to get them anyway, so I felt cheated.  My daughter has that set in her house now.

I always wanted a new diamond ring, an anniversary band after we were married for some years.  My engagement ring was minuscule (1/10 of a carat).   This brings me to the diamond ring I did finally get .  It was  a "lab-created" diamond ring and a pair of earrings to go with it.  Can you say FAKE??   It was a one-carat diamond solitaire ring that was so obviously fake that I was embarrassed to wear it.  But I had to wear it and pretend to like it.  I got this the year before we split up.  I was completely insulted that he bought this. 
 *** Before anyone says anything.... my husband could afford to get me a real diamond ring.  He was a vice president of a company, with a company car and 5 weeks paid vacation and a hefty Christmas bonus every year.  He could well afford to buy me a real ring.  He was just cheap and is the king of ebay shopping.***
My daughter used to wrap his gifts for him.  She was shocked at how bad this ring looked (she told me later).  She didn't want to wrap it for him, but she did.  I wish I had a picture of it, so I could show you, but I put it in the drawer of his humidor that was in our bedroom along with the phony earrings.  He took the humidor on one of his weekend visits when he slept on the sofa.  I always hoped he'd give it to Maleficent, but I'm sure she'd never accept anything like that.  That chick likes to spend money (which is a good thing for my daughter because she's getting the wedding she deserves, thanks to Maleficent's penchant for spending).  

The year we split (Christmas 2004), Maleficent was already in the picture and we were still married.  I found her Christmas gifts.  He bought her a tool kit (I swear!) and this really ugly blue watch.  He also bought me a  new watch, a a two-toned gold Bulova watch.  Stupid ass kept her gifts in the trunk of his car and mine in his armoir.  Like I wasn't going to search his car every time I drove it.  If that ugly blue watch was in my stack of gifts instead of the nice watch, he was going to have a major dent in his head.  Lucky for his head he gave me the good one.  

I"m sure over 23 years of marriage, I got many more ugly stupid gifts, but these few come to mind right away.

OH!!  I know I had one Fail... the year I bought him one of those big red roll-away tool boxes.... and he bought me a silver fox jacket.   I think that leveled the field.  :)

Anyone want to share their Christmas gift Fails?


Garret of Jim and Garret said...

I can't think of any fails but am looking forward to reading about others.

網頁設計 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

抓姦 said...

Very happy to come to your blog, Christmas is coming, I wish you a Merry Christmas!

偵探社 said...

Very happy to come to your blog, Christmas is coming, I wish you a Merry Christmas!

尋人 said...

Very happy to come to your blog, Christmas is coming, I wish you a Merry Christmas!

討債 said...

Very happy to come to your blog, Christmas is coming, I wish you a Merry Christmas!

討債 said...

Merry Christmas!

法律諮詢 said...

Very happy to come to your blog, Christmas is coming, I wish you a Merry Christmas!

slommler said...

As a young teen I wanted black and white saddle shoes...I got brown and tan.FAIL!! I wanted a new robe and my sweetie bought this yellow fuzzy fur looking thing that made me look like a big old bear...can we say FAIL!! I love him dearly but his gift giving needs help every year. He just doesn't have a clue. So I give him wish lists with everything written down and all he has to do is order and pay. Ha! This works!
Merry Christmas and hugs

Michele said...

My hubby made one mistake over the last 27 years. He put a meat thermometer in my stocking one of the first years we were married. He still hasn't lived it down. We joke about it now.